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trainwreck day
Sep 2nd, 2007 by wrekehavoc

i really loathe long weekends. i know; i should look forward to time spent with family or friends. but somehow, it never ever works out the way i would have liked.

take today.

today actually starts as last night. see, on the same weekend before BC starts at a new school [READ: stressful, teary nights ahead], i also decided to start night training jools (who will hate me for writing about this one day.) last night, BC fought bedtime due to fears; jools had nightmares from 1-2 a.m.; BC had nightmares from 2-3 a.m.; jools started right back up at 3 until i don’t know. and then, he awoke for good at 6:15.

when people are tired, they respond to exhaustion differently. me, i get weepy and sick. others might get angry or psychotic. but it’s hard for me to fathom why the day just kept getting worse and worser, so to speak.

my usually brave and intensely independent jools is currently terrified of his own shadow. apparently, his nightmares involved “knights, scarlet knights, (something else) knights.” he refuses to go into detail beyond that. [maybe it has to do with all the Rutgers paraphenalia that BS and i, both alums, have. i dunno.] he doesn’t want to sleep alone; he doesn’t want to visit the bathroom alone; he doesn’t even want to go to his room alone. i tried to show him some funny knights, but nothin’s doin’. is it because of the nighttime potty training? or something else?

meanwhile, back at the neurosis ranch, BC is freaked out about, well, basically everything. bullies. mean people. hell, give her some time and she’ll be freaking over knights, too, i guess. she won’t sleep.

and BS is way overtired, too.

i took the kids out this afternoon to the pool so that BS could attempt a nap. we returned, and the world seemed calmer. then, while getting groceries at harris-teeter, something happened while i was at the meat counter. BS and the kids were going after a smaller kids cart for the kids to push. i saw BC walking with a kids cart but with no one else. she had lost BS. so we went to the front of the store, where i saw BS, who mouthed at me: “where’s julian?”

my heart fell into my feet.

teary and bleary, i grabbed BC and we walked in the fruit and veg section, parallel to BS, who was walking over to the area by the carts at the front door. then, when we walked back, i saw BS with a dazed-looking jools. long story short, jools decided he wanted out and started for the door. on his own. at least he was safe and sound.

so we’ve had dinner and baths and books. jools wanted someone to sleep with him (which won’t happen), then promptly crashed. meanwhile, BC is still up and asking me to stay up until she falls asleep. ironically, i think i’m the person with the least amount of sleep in this house, and i’m too upset to sleep.

pleasepleaseplease be a better day tomorrow.

please.


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