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my brave boy
Sep 11th, 2007 by wrekehavoc

we all know that officials from the district of columbia move in mysterious ways. very little can explain things like this, for example. hell, very little can explain how marion barry continues to have a career in politics. but that’s the beauty and wonder of DC.

so it should come as no surprise to anyone that the licensure people from the district came to my son’s school the other day. for years and years, no one from DC licensing cared when kids’ lead tests were done. and here in VA, no one really cares after the 1st necessary one at a few months old.

surprise!

now they do. and if all of us folks don’t get lead tests on our kids by early october, well, there will be fines. inadvertent preschool dropouts. cats and dogs. living together. mass hysteria. you get the picture.

so today, instead of having a special day with jools, i had a morning of nooooooooooooo, mommy. i don’t want to have a blood test!
noooooooooooooooo!

now, i can’t blame the kid. of course, i get poked or jabbed at least once a month these days (and yesterday, i had a whopper of a shot in my knee, so believe me, i am empathetic). but when its a rare thing, like it is (thankfully) for poor jools, well, damn, it’s hard to explain. so you do what any sane parent does. you employ the most important survival tactic known to parents everywhere.

you bribe your child.

let’s see: the kid got a lollipop (before lunch! he gleefully told anyone within earshot! yep. a day without mama the hardass.) the kid got to eat chips from taco hell. and when we visited the library, the kid got to spend 30 minutes on the kids computer. 30. whole. minutes. and i neglected to find a book to read before that. so i sat and enjoyed the silent screen version of bailey’s bookhouse. for. 30. whole. minutes.

[somebody please help me. i’m melting.]

but you know what? the dude earned it. we sat there, with gospel music blaring from the phlebotemist’s radio, and the dude barely even whimpered. he even thanked the lady for the bugs bunny band aid. maybe it was the gospel stuff. who the hell knows.

all i know is that i can hardly wait for flu shots…


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