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shadow of a doubt
Oct 7th, 2007 by wrekehavoc

i’m getting material together to hopefully present at the first DC mortified show next month. (a friend of mine emailed me and told me about this. considering i kept copious journals throughout most of high school, i have a lot of fodder for such an enterprise.) after my first “audition,” i got some great and enthusiastic feedback. they were interested in certain threads of my teenaged life. of course, i’m not sure i want to go too deeply into one thread (one old but significant boyfriend), and i’m thinking more about another (about a less significant but terribly sad/funny boyfriend).

anyway, i met with one of the organizers yesterday to talk about what i’d found. after going through it all, i’m beginning to get a clearer picture of who i was as a teen, something which totally eluded me at the time. she’s really interested in my trying to glean from it all more about me — what i was feeling, who i was, why i was like that. i was pretty self-aware (although pretty clueless about why) at the time, so i’m digging it all up now. it’s sort of like self-analysis, and i can’t wait until a quiet moment hits and i have that aha! moment when i realize why i am like what i am today, based on my life as a teen.

but as i think about myself as a teen, it becomes incredibly clear what i wanted to be: a complex kid. i must have internalized tom petty in a big way. unfortunately, i think i hit a point where i was so complicated, i lost my own plot. some of the poetry i wrote back then completely baffles me.

and then i simplified, met BS, and the rest, as they say, is history 😉


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