go buy a tin lizzie instead, ok?
i live in an urban area — or, to be precise, an exurb. we do not off-road here (nor are we into NASCAR, for that matter.) we do have occasional deer and foxes crossing the roads in my neck of the woods; but mostly, the wildlife consists of birds, rodents, and raccoons rifling through the trashcans. in this world of mine, we have roads, we have bridges, we have traffic jams. (we also have a citizenry terrified of precipitation — the mere report of rain in the future drives up bread, milk, and egg sales. but i digress into another pet peeve.) in short, the wildest (and arguably the most offensive) thing you will see around here unfortunately are those idiots from westboro baptist church protesting at arlington national cemetary.
and yet, we have the land rovers and hummers and other oversized urban assault vehicles, zooming through the people’s republic to destinations unknown. i especially love seeing the ones with the kangaroo catchers on the front bumper; lord knows you might run into one on washington boulevard. when i moved up to the mom-mobile a few years back, i thought it was super-large, and i was nervous about moving around the world in something so big. but the mom-mobile is dwarfed by so many of these honkin’-huge SUVs on the road; i may as well be riding in my old civic.
these rough-tough vehicles are surely built to withstand some serious punishment. their ads imply as much. so why are you, john and jane q. upwardly-mobile, afraid to ride over speed bumps? why are you gingerly driving over a tiny pothole? why are you terrified to splash through a puddle? i go mental every time i am behind someone in one of these supposedly-strong vehicles and he or she is treating it like it could break into a thousand tiny pieces if the road condition is not absolutely and positively perfect.
yeah. i guess if i paid that much money for a car, i would probably never let it leave the garage.