you’re special. so special.
ah, parking lots. as a person who lives near a major city, i cherish parking lots. see, in the city, you are stuck with fighting for on-street parking or for the ever-popular parking deck. either way, you may be charged an arm-and-a-leg for the privilege. you may be towed (especially in DC, and for no apparent reason other than it’s a day that ended in the letter Y.) if you’re really lucky, like i was, someone will hit your car and drive away, leaving the front of your vehicle beside farragut square (which yes,virginia, actually happened once.)
so i cherish parking lots. out in suburbia, there are often lots — and many of them are FREE! yes, it’s really great — you drive in, and if it isn’t the holiday season, you find a spot, and … wait for it… you stop your car between two lines. it’s awesome! sure, there are people who park a little over the lines from time to time; and sometimes, it’s a little difficult to find a place to park. but it works. it’s a great system. and as someone who hates parallel parking, i give it a tremendous thumbs-up.
but then, there’s always that one person who somehow thinks that parking lots are for suckers. yes, he will pull up to the front of the store, park his car in the fire lane, and get out to hit the stores. now unless his name is actually Fire Lane, i think that space is supposed to be kept clear in case, G-d forbid, lightning hits Syms and the place needs emergency attention. but no. this guy (or gal) is specially annointed; he don’t need no stinkin’ parking spot!
and yet somehow, he never gets ticketed or towed.
certainly, it’s not like he’s a serial killer; this is just my pet peeve, after all. but i do hope when he meets his end, and he tries to park himself in front of everyone else in line at the pearly gates, st. peter takes one look at him and tells him to park his car in the furthest lot in west heaven and then get to the back of the line.