with thanks to my friend marsha 🙂

the state of the union drinking game

with thanks to jacks:
Mr. Paper Clip Works Overtime.

and ya don't want to ask me how much my mouth foamed last night while watching dubya…

I'm a generally unfuckwitted, liberal, not-too-generous, not-too-selfish, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
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my hospital has a site where you can peek at the newborns (if you have a password.) how cuuute!

don't kick the baby!

this really, truly happened today. it sounds like a scene from a bad Lifetime movie, but i am not making this up. really.

today, i went to the supermarket early, and i do mean early, to avoid the superbowl snack binging public. it was still zooey, even at 8am on a sunday. i was getting a bit cranky, but, knowing my mission, i took a deep breath and plowed on. i waited on line behind two elderly ladies who were just slower than slow. but i bit my lip and continued. when i got to the front of the line, the cashier, a tough-looking man with a shaved head, said hello and was quite nice, so i was quite nice back. he saw my protruding belly.

“ma'am, forgive me for asking, but have you ever heard about the cord blood registry?”

“why yes. as a matter of fact, when our daughter was born, we donated her cord blood, stem cells and all, to NIH for a program they sponsored to provide that for experimental cancer and leukemia treatments.”

suddenly, the tough-looking cashier broke into a smile. “ma'am,” he said, turning to the side and pulling out a portrait of a little girl and a bald little boy, ” this is my son, ian. he has been on the experimental stem cell therapy now for his cancer, and it is helping him so much. you are an angel, and i am so honored to meet someone like you who has done so much for people like us. we don't have a lot of money, and this stuff is very expensive, so we really depend on this sort of thing.”

i nearly started to cry. “sir, i am the one who is honored to know you and know that this sort of thing really does help people. if they let me, i will be honored to donate the cord blood from this baby to the registry again. it makes me feel so wonderful knowing this this is helping your son, i cannot begin to tell you.”

“my daughter (who could not have been more than 9) has donated 7 times to help her brother. we are just so grateful for people who donate. i am just so glad i have the opportunity to thank you. it is like G-d sent you to my line so that i could have the pleasure of thanking you,” he said. “G-d bless you, ma'am.”

“G-d bless you and your family, sir,” i said.

now everyone out there, repeat after me: i am so lucky, i am so lucky, i am SO lucky.

there, but for the grace of G-d, goes all of us.

i just got yet another piece of spam asking me the pivotal question:

“do you wish your penis was longer?”

there are moments when i really wish i could write these idiots back. or, at the very least, blanket their e-mail boxes with something equally stupid.

::sigh:: there simply is no justice in cyberworld.

you know, i have had this song by pete townshend stuck in my head all morning. i truly hope that he has people standing by him at this time. i have no idea whether he is guilty or not, of course. and it troubles me at times that i am probably more willing to suspend judgement on him then, say, regular john doe. maybe because his public persona – his writings – show him to be a man who has been wrestling with so much inner turmoil, and so unlike john doe, i feel like i have had a mild glimpse into his mind. i really, really hope he isn't guilty.

anyway, it makes me think about friendship. now, anyone who knows me for a long time (and yes, there are people out there i have been friends with since i was 3-years-old – hi jen-jen!) – have a pretty good idea about how i feel about my friends. the close ones, anyway. i am one of those idiots who sticks out her neck for her friends, often to her own detriment. but it is a matter of principle. i can honestly say that i am lucky, too, to have people in my life who may not be blood-relatives but who feel to me to be nearly the same. i feel like they would do the same for me, too. and, in some cases, have.

it takes an immense emotional effort for me to wipe a friend out of my life completely. i can honestly say i have only done it once, and the betrayal that caused it to happen was so horrific to me, so painful, that it took me years to come to grips with it. i have a few friends out there with whom i have had arguments, fights that left us not speaking for a few years. i imagine whatever we fought about was probably my fault. but in the end, we are all smart enough to realize that we have this strong bond, and we have all come back together. one of these people (and you know who you are, too 😉 and i regularly try to remember just what we were fighting about. we've been back speaking for about 10 years, and we still cannot remember what the hell the problem was. we just laugh about it.

anyway, i guess this ramble just makes me wonder why other people are not as forgiving as i am. when i think about it, i guess i had a realization at an early age at how short life can be. life is too fleeting to hold a grudge for too long. i am ashamed for the times i have held grudges – it has been a waste of energy. i even sometimes look back at the one person who i have banished (and who knows, i, too, may be banished from that life as well, so we may actually be waving to each other on Elba without even knowing it) and wonder whether i did the right thing.

anyway, i hope pete has friends. forgiving friends.

pete townshend
from ironman

HOGARTH
When eyes meet in silence
A pact can be made
A life-long alliance
That won't be betrayed
Be friendly, befriend me now
Be friendly

A friend is a friend
Nothing can change that
Arguments, squabbles
Can't break the contract
That each of you makes
To the death, to the end
Deliver your future
Into the hands of your friend

WOODLAND CREATURES
Be friendly, befriend me now
(repeat 2 times)
Be friendly

HOGARTH
A promise is a promise
A handshake will seal it
No amount of discussion
Can ever repeat it
Commitment forever
To borrow or lend
Deliver your future
Into the hands of your friend
Be friendly, befriend me now
(repeat 2 times)
Be friendly

When eyes meet in silence, A pact can be made
BADGER You need a pact
A life-long alliance, That won't be betrayed
CROW Won't be betrayed
You need a mate
BADGER You need a mate
When facing the end
What is the fate
BADGER What is the fate
Now facing my friend
Facing my friend
What faces my friend
Be friendly, befriend me now
(repeat 2 times)

HOGARTH and WOODLAND CREATURES
A friend is a friend
Nothing can change that
Arguments, squabbles
Can't break the contract
That each of you makes
To the death, to the end
Deliver your future
Into the hands of your friend

HOGARTH
Be friendly now
Be friendly now
Be friendly, befriend me now

i hatehateHATE having my time wasted. today, i was scheduled to have my monthly OB appointment at 2:45. i dutifully got into the pay garage at 2:30 (yes, you have to pay since my OB's office is in the annex to our local hospital, and oftentimes, there is NO PARKING AVAILABLE, so it is like freaking russian roulette) and even was able to find a parking spot in the bowels of the building. well. guess when the doctor finally saw me? 3:45. in that time, i read 4 magazines, coughed a lot, and fell asleep in the examining room.

and of course, the longer you are in the garage, the more you pay. not that it is going to break the bank at monte carlo, but it is the principle of the thing, you know.

grrr. i'd like to charge them MY hourly rate for wasting my time.

meanwhile, what was the BEST part about my visit? the OB asking me why i didn't take the AFP test. i told her: the genetic counselor told me not to bother since i had the CVS test. the genetic counselor told me that my age alone would throw me into the category of “must-have amnio”. “that's curious,” the OB said. “actually, they usually counsel people who have had CVSs to HAVE an AFP test. in fact,” she said, going through my chart, “look at the letter they wrote.” and sure enough, on the letter, they recommend that i take the test. (do I get a copy of the fucking letter? of course not. just the doctor does.) of course, now the TIME has passed for me to take the test, so i can't do a fucking thing about it. hopefully, all is well anyway – they probably would have spotted a spina bifida problem during my ultrasound (i hope), so hopefully this is all a moot point.

but don't piss me off today. i am good and mad and sick and hormonal. and sleep deprived. i can't take much in the way of medicine to help this viral infection i have, i can't take a decongestant, and basically all i am left with is plain robitussin and tylenol.

don't push me cos i'm close to the edge.

My personality is rated 37.What is yours?

About your score…

Your score is
37/50
what does that mean?
Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

The closer to fifty that the number is, the stronger your personality is.
The closer to zero that the number is, the weaker your personality.
The best scores to have are between 25 and 40.