kids ask questions. lots of questions. perennial favorites include:

• where do babies come from?
• why do i have to go to school?
• where is jimmy hoffa?

add a new one to the list: why are your boobs bigger/tummy flatter/nose smaller?

lucky for our children, there is a new book by plastic surgeon michael a. salzhauer called my beautiful mommy. this book will explain why mommy has bandages and why, for a little while, can’t pick up her cosmopolitan without help.

what it doesn’t explain: how mommy will have any credibility once her child grows into puberty and doesn’t like what she sees looking back at her in the mirror: well mommy, you changed your [enter body part/s of choice here] in order to look like Barbie; why can’t i?