this one’s for you, on the curb.

i remember hot child in the city for so very many reasons. for starters, i could not figure out whether nick gilder was a man or a woman. to me, that voice sounds awfully feminine. could nick be short for nicole, or nicolette? if i had only stayed up long enough to see gilder on a show like don kirshner’s rock concert, i might have had a chance at seeing a video and might have discerned his gender. but this was the 1970s, when MTV was merely a twinkle in mike nesmith‘s eye. chances of seeing a rock video in 1978 were pretty slim. (in hindsight, gilder looks a little bit like a tranny tom petty to me in the video; my 13 year old self would probably still have been confused had i seen him on film.)

i later found out that this song is about fashion runways and the young models who love them. (today, on jerry springer!) however, at 13, i thought this was a disturbing song. i couldn’t understand why a grownup person (who i suspected was male, but, as i mentioned, i wasn’t entirely certain) would want to sing about a hot child in the city, running wild and looking pretty. i didn’t know the word pedophile yet, but by gum, i knew creepy when i heard it. and this song, to my young, wild, and pretty ears, was c r e e p y with a capital C. i was perpetually mystified that it became a hit. didn’t other people know this was just so wrong on so many levels, i wondered.

the last wrong in my book? the song is musically uninspiring. gilder has gone on to write songs for a lot of other artists (hey, anyone remember this one? it’s his! and its definitely on my list should i ever go after songs that drive me batty from the 1980s!), and i suspect that some of them must be good. but this one? it’s difficult for me to get jazzed about a song that pretty much has two chords. it’s not impossible, of course, but it sure is tough.

and it would have to be a song with lyrics that don’t make me shudder in a dark alley.