i am afraid i am going to jinx myself. but hell, here goes.

::drum roll please:: this morning, i was not nauseous.

::jumping happily::

i am only feeling a little queasy now. i actually got some things DONE today. i was actually slightly USEFUL today. of course, i am exhausted. that doesn't seem to have abated. and i still have no interest in food. but the fact that i did not need a toilet today other than for typical uses made me so thrilled.

maybe i'm on my way to feeling like myself again. my surly, crabby, cranky self 😉

just saw this posting from Found Objects. these are not found objects, they are objects from Nordstroms. i know. BC has the green rain boots that are second from the left.

grr.

let's see what fun i can be on BS's Birthday, which is today.

hmm. got him cinnamon buns yesterday for his breakfast – he loves them. check.

BC made a birthday card from us to him. check.

i drove out to the Carvel in Fairfax to get him his annual Fudgie The Whale birthday cake. don't ask me how we started this tradition, but he has had a Fudgie cake every year since i don't know when. check.

his birthday present still hasn't shown up in the mail yet. wah!

and, i would like to take him to dinner, but considering we are limited by the fact that a) we have a nearly-four-year-old in tow, and b) i have this little food aversion problem at the moment, i think he might not have the best evening.

maybe i can bring in something from takeout?

i am getting really sick of being sick. i am getting a little depressed. i know this is all part of the process, but this nausea i have felt for at least 5 weeks now is debilitating. i have things i need to get done, and i can barely do anything.

my trader joe's curried vegetable biryani, an indian dish, is imported from denmark.

huh?

i can't go up and down stairs much today. Yesterday, BS brought up a frozen meal from the freezer in the basement for my lunch today so that i wouldn't have to go down and up the stairs.

that is love.

i would like to point out that i do not make pictures on tables with my dandruff 😉

I am Allison! Which Brat Packer Are You?

You are pretty screwed up — so screwed up you need a shrink. Sadly, your shrink's pretty screwed up too. You like to make pretty pictures. You're such an outcast that you'd sit through detention with the hope of making some friends. The good news is that you look good when you want to. Hell, maybe you'll even bag someone as cool as Emilio Estevez.

i just had the CVS test done. it was not fun. i had to have a needle through my abdomen into the uterus. i squeezed BS's hand hard and thought of the ocean. i was supposed to keep breathing through the procedure. it was not easy. the needle wiggled around in my abdomen. in the end, the doctor showed me the villi sample in the needle. joy.

now i am supposed to take it easy for a day or two. minimize stair climbing. no carrying, twisting, turning. stay off my feet. how the hell am i supposed to do that with an almost 4-year-old? we have cupcakes to decorate for her school bake sale tomorrow, you know.

but, on the wondrous side, i saw my baby today. his (no, i don't know gender, i am using the generic HIM/HIS although in my heart, i think he is a boy) heart was beating, he was flipping about like a little fish, and his face? aw. my little alien baby. i am so thrilled. i just hope he stays ok in there.

in two week's time, i will have results. and my due date has been moved up to may 31.

today, i go in for a CVS test. the link will explain all, but essentially, it is a genetic test since i am a mom-to-be that is over 35. the test has some risks to the baby, including a risk of miscarriage. i am concerned, to say the least. i do not have any family history of any genetic issues. merely by my age, i qualify for this. (to be blunt, eggs get old 😉 i am not certain whether i am selfish to be putting my baby at risk to know that he or she is okay. i may still change my mind after they talk to me at the center.

i just don't know what to do.

it's a rainy day. BC, BS & i are going to eat popcorn now and watch monsters,inc which i just borrowed from our library. the DVD. i am so thrilled that i can get DVDs for free from the library.

is this a great country or what?