Author: wrekehavoc

come sit on my couch

come sit on my couch

molly, by way of kelly, had a fun meme. i tried it. you can, too:

1. Go to www.careercruising.com.
2. Put in Username: nycareers; Password: landmark.
3. Take their “Career Matchmaker” questions.
4. Post the top whatever results

there are those who might think that i sort of have achieved #16 informally.

1.

Casting Director

2.

Human Resources Specialist

3.

Paralegal

4.

Archivist

5.

Historian

6.

Lawyer

7.

Civil Litigator

8.

Corporate / Commercial Lawyer

9.

Judge

10.

Critic

11.

Writer

12.

Print Journalist

13.

Director

14.

Political Aide

15.

Court Clerk

16.

Stuntperson

17.

Insurance Claims Adjuster

18.

Criminal Lawyer

19.

Venture Capitalist

20.

Curator

21.

Legal Secretary

22.

Housekeeper

23.

Hospital Service Worker

24.

Animal Trainer

25.

Communications Specialist

26.

Adoption Counselor

27.

Mediator

28.

Fundraiser

29.

Lobbyist

30.

Humanitarian Aid Worker

31.

Family and Consumer Scientist

32.

Anthropologist

33.

Actor

34.

Medical Secretary

35.

Industrial-Organizational Psychologist

36.

Stock Clerk

37.

Editor

38.

Marriage and Family Therapist

39.

Postal Clerk

40.

Multimedia Developer

i can't cook

i can't cook

one day, my family is going to buy me a t-shirt. on this t-shirt, i will be quoted with something i say often after attempting to cook a healthy, somewhat interesting meal:

there is nothing more rewarding than cooking for a family.

BC will tell anyone within striking distance that her mommy can bake pretty well (no one can beat my brownies, i tell ya!), but her mommy cannot cook. period. and she isn’t too far off. see, if i had my druthers, i would be trying all sorts of vegetarian fare every single night. this is problematic: BS is an affirmed carnivore, BC hates most things that aren’t full of salt or sugar, and jools? well, he’s the kid who lost weight at his well-baby visit last time, remember?

last night’s rosh hashana dinner pretty much proved the point.

*i roasted a chicken — not too hard, and nobody fell ill with salmonella.

*i made matzo ball soup, which the kids liked even though some of the matzo balls fell apart in the soup (BS wouldn’t touch it), looking like something nasty. (i’ll refrain from the rest of my description as a public service.) taste 6, looks, -12.

*i made a cauliflower concoction in the slow cooker that no one, not even i liked — and now i have a major slow cooker mess AND the house smells like bad gas.

*i made jewish apple cake, which wasn’t my best effort — the kids turned up their noses because it wasn’t too sweet.

*and i bought challah, which was stupidstupidSTUPID — that’s the one element of the meal i can ACTUALLY MAKE WELL. but see, the folks from great harvest were nice enough to come on sunday to shul and show all the hebrew school kids how to make challah. and after they brought all that dough for us to bake and eat, it only seemed fair to buy some challah from them to show them some love.

when the matzah ball soup began to fail, i threw some rice into the oven to bake. (joy of cooking has a wonderful baked rice recipe that results in almost foolproof rice.) i know, i know. not exactly traditional ashkenazi holiday jew food. of course, when i took the rice out of the oven, i burnt my wrist, right in the wrist-slitting position. VERY attractive. (note to BS: i need a really nice bracelet now to conceal this scar. in case you’re wondering.)

so mom, if you’re reading this, i didn’t try to off myself after realizing that i am the world’s worst cook. i just need to realize what you realized long ago. sometimes, the best thing you can make for dinner are reservations.

my brave boy

my brave boy

we all know that officials from the district of columbia move in mysterious ways. very little can explain things like this, for example. hell, very little can explain how marion barry continues to have a career in politics. but that’s the beauty and wonder of DC.

so it should come as no surprise to anyone that the licensure people from the district came to my son’s school the other day. for years and years, no one from DC licensing cared when kids’ lead tests were done. and here in VA, no one really cares after the 1st necessary one at a few months old.

surprise!

now they do. and if all of us folks don’t get lead tests on our kids by early october, well, there will be fines. inadvertent preschool dropouts. cats and dogs. living together. mass hysteria. you get the picture.

so today, instead of having a special day with jools, i had a morning of nooooooooooooo, mommy. i don’t want to have a blood test!
noooooooooooooooo!

now, i can’t blame the kid. of course, i get poked or jabbed at least once a month these days (and yesterday, i had a whopper of a shot in my knee, so believe me, i am empathetic). but when its a rare thing, like it is (thankfully) for poor jools, well, damn, it’s hard to explain. so you do what any sane parent does. you employ the most important survival tactic known to parents everywhere.

you bribe your child.

let’s see: the kid got a lollipop (before lunch! he gleefully told anyone within earshot! yep. a day without mama the hardass.) the kid got to eat chips from taco hell. and when we visited the library, the kid got to spend 30 minutes on the kids computer. 30. whole. minutes. and i neglected to find a book to read before that. so i sat and enjoyed the silent screen version of bailey’s bookhouse. for. 30. whole. minutes.

[somebody please help me. i’m melting.]

but you know what? the dude earned it. we sat there, with gospel music blaring from the phlebotemist’s radio, and the dude barely even whimpered. he even thanked the lady for the bugs bunny band aid. maybe it was the gospel stuff. who the hell knows.

all i know is that i can hardly wait for flu shots…

what is it good for? absolutely nothing.

what is it good for? absolutely nothing.

you know, when BC tells me that she’ll still be hungry for dinner if I let her snarf down some cookies?

i believe that about as much as i believe this.

tomorrow is the 6th anniversary of a most terrible day. it’s bad enough that i’ve had to have the conversation with BC about planes going into buildings. it’s even worse that one of my former colleagues lost his wife in one of them.

we have one of the official Arlington trees growing in our yard, grown to commemorate one of the lives lost at the Pentagon. it has grown huge, to match my anger over this Administration’s foreign policy. we’ll put out the American flag in memory of all of those lives needlessly lost: the people in NY, the people in PA, the people in the Pentagon.

and the people in Iraq. ours and theirs.

broooooooooooooooce!

broooooooooooooooce!

jersey girl alert: bruce is coming to town (if you say bruce who, well, i might just smack ya upside da head) with a new album to push (radio nowhere is the first release). so yeah, he looks a little like a rahway resident on the cover. so what?

i always *heart* the albums with the E Street Band the best (even if patti scialfa’s voice grates on my nerves. don’t get me wrong; i’m glad he ended up with a jersey girl instead of julianne whats-her-name.) i wondered about fans who attended his last tour and were annoyed by the whole jug-band thing. i mean, what the hell — did they think he was going to belt out born to run on a tuba?

want a fun little tour of BS’s hometown, which also happens to be the Boss’s hometown? tee hee, i remember holding the camera for some of the shots. course, the place has changed a LOT since a decade’s gone by…

but i digress.  i’m just hoping i don’t have to cut into the kids’ college funds for tickets this time. if only the newsweek link was still live recounting the tale of BS competing, unknowingly, with one of his sisters, for a VH1 charity package of backstage passes and front-row seats.  this sort of thing only happens to us.

yep. we’re revisiting a portion of our youth today. it’s kind of fun to revisit youth with a little more money. although frankly, given the choice, i think i’d still take the youth.

all i want is everything

all i want is everything

with sincerest apologies to southside johnny and the asbury jukes

i feel good today. r e a l l y good. don’t know how long the feeling will last, and nevermind the fact that i have to go get a CT scan of my chest and an U/S of my abdomen. (bahaha. i want a doctor to take your picture so i can look at you from inside as well.i. feel. good. (dagnabit.) when i feel good, i feel like i can think about the future. cos when i feel good, i feel like i’ll be around a loooooong time into the future.

so, i was mentally cataloging things this morning while waiting in the hematologist’s office (platelets=190~ IVIG is my friend!). things i want.

1) eight consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep.

2) well-adjusted kids who seem relatively happy doing what they’re doing.

3) a rest for my BS who could definitely do with one.

4) plenty of time to play.

5) plenty of time to write.

6) plenty of time.

7) an opportunity to see family and friends who i don’t get to see all that often.

8) an opportunity to apologize to people i was horrid to when i was a teen (i have been reading my journals from high school, and there are a few people i inadvertantly messed about a little. not intentionally, of course — i was a mixed-up kid, just like the next one. i just didn’t see the view from 40,000 feet like i do now.)

9) time to be what i always wanted to be as a grownup.

10) repeat.

i feel good. so i sort of have everything. already.

mommy already passed the third grade

mommy already passed the third grade

and now, the deluge.

for two whole days, BC has been doing pretty well at her new school. yes, there was trauma when the gym teachers told her she needed to wear lace-up sneakers and not velcro; yes, there was sturm und drang when her PE teachers at her old school told her new gym teachers that she was “good” (“mama, there’s SO MUCH PRESSURE on me now to do a good job!” she wailed at me. in fact, i told her, they probably meant that you’re a good kid. which you are, by the way. you do know that, right?) yes, there’s trauma in the fact that lunch tables are assigned (and doesn’t start until 12:50), that new places in the school have to be found and noted, new friends need to be made. girlfriend seemed to weather things okay, even though she ended up playing by herself on the playground yesterday.

until this morning.

we walked into the auditorium where the kids wait to be let into school. we sat near the third grade enclave. only, the girls sat like little noah’s ark refugees. two by two, they seemed to be paired up in unbreakable groups. apparently, this was too much to bear. BC put her head on my shirt and started to weep. my shirt became very wet very quickly. i patted her back and tried to help her calm down, but it was of no use. when it was time to walk to her class, girlfriend put a deathgrip on my arm. we walked into her class, BC firmly implanted into my side. i smiled at the teacher, and the teacher, bless her, came over and tried to extricate. but extrication was futile. “you know,” she said to BC, “your mommy can’t stay in third grade.”

“no,” i added. “i already passed the third grade.”

the teacher smiled. “yes, your mommy will answer all the questions and not give the other kids a chance to answer them. it won’t be fair.”

(is this woman psychic? 😉

but nothing doing. a few minutes later, a little girl came over and asked BC if she wanted to read with her. so together we moved over to the reading corner, where a few girls and a boy sat. one girl looked at BC confused, wondering what the heck was wrong with her. i put on my best mommy voice and said, “you know, it’s hard to be the new kid. i bet you all were new kids somewhere sometime.” one girl said that she was new to the school in kindergarten and didn’t even know how to speak english. other kids nodded on the new part.

BC continued the deathgrip.

finally, it was time for the class to listen to another teacher tell a story about a dog. BC’s teacher came over and told her that she needed to come pick out a sticker and that i needed to leave. the sad, red face looked at me. i tried to say “have a great day” in my cheeriest tone. she scowled. and i left.

and i walked out of that school as fast as i could so that no one could see me crying.

when i got home after hitting the grocery, i saw i had a message. oh, no. i bet they’re punting her for crying, i thought. when hellboy was three at BC’s old elementary school, i would get calls when he’d had an accident in his pants. could i come and clean him up? apparently, no one there could, and i’d race to the school, wondering how long my kid had to walk around in soiled pants, especially when he had a clean pair in his cubby. if her old school was pretty easy about sending kids home or calling parents in, i wonder what her new school does…

i listened to the message. the teacher wanted me to know that while she was teary after i left, BC bucked up and was having a good day and was now in music class. she thought she’d call and tell me because she’s a mom, too, and she knows what its like.

i think i’m going to like the third grade. again.

phone call never made.

phone call never made.

one time — BC couldn’t have been more than 3, for i know i had not yet gotten pregnant with jools — BC and i took a walk through our neighborhood. we walked often before dinner; i loved to take her around our block to admire the colonel’s wife’s flowers, miss maxine’s flag, step up miss jeannie’s steep steps, and end up with miss hattie and maybe mr. bob out on his back swing. this time, though, we went a little further afield and walked around to the next street.

while we were walking, we came upon a woman and her two little girls, one the same age as BC and i think the other was slightly younger, though i don’t recall. we stopped and BC played on the lawn with the girls, rosemary and anne marie. i really enjoyed talking with the mom, and we exchanged phone numbers, hoping to start up a little playdate fun.

unfortunately, i worked, and i suspect she did, too. and as all well-intentioned folks can foresee, we never got together. i held onto the slip of paper for a few years, and finally, one day, i tossed it, figuring that they would not remember us.

fast forward to now.

anne marie is in BC’s class. BC said she’s such a nice girl. and anne marie told BC that she remembered her from all those years ago. sadly, though, her mother died last year, so the family will be moving back to presumably where more family lives.

i guess i couldn’t do anything to stop certain events from happening. but i cannot help feeling a sense of loss over a person i never really got to know.

Theme: Overlay by Kaira Extra Text
Cape Town, South Africa