Author: wrekehavoc

freedom to marry week: loudoun county

freedom to marry week: loudoun county

apologies for not posting yesterday and breaking the chain, so to speak. ya see, here in DC, we don’t deal well with precipitation. if there’s rain in the forecast, people start buying up bread and milk at Giant. if there’s snow, people make sure they have enough to keep them going for two weeks. and if there’s ice? whoo, doggies. people who can’t fly out of dulles are left cooling their heels in the podunk that is loudoun county (motto: we’re the fastest growing county in the usa, so please send us more mcmansion builders to clear out the cows!)

i talk about loudoun county, our neighbor to the west, because over the weekend, there was a great cry and gnashing of teeth over a student play about — gasp! — a high school football player’s homosexuality. the loudoun county delegate was horrified, as he believes the high school is being used to promote a homosexual lifestyle. his son-in-law, the loudoun county supervisor (cue Deliverance music here) was equally appalled. parents were emailing all sorts of horrified emails, according to the article. the upside of all of this, of course, is that more people are interested in the play.

my favorite quote in the Post article, though, comes from the Delegate:

“Within our public schools, there is a tendency to encourage homosexual activity, to portray it in a cute or favorable light,” Black said in an interview yesterday. “This is a considerable health hazard right now. If we encourage just one child to experiment and contract the HIV virus, then we have done an enormous disservice to our children.”

i can see it now. a gaggle of girls sitting at dulles town center mall, watching two men hold hands. “oh look,” susie says to sally and friends, “a gay couple — aren’t they just too CUUUUTTE? maybe they can go shoe shopping with us!”

okay, so i’m a little flip there. but seriously, what concerns me most is the idea that these people are so ignorant that they think HIV is a GAY DISEASE. and yes, i am screaming, because i am SO DAMN MAD THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO ARE LIVING IN 1985 AND HAVE NO IDEA THAT HIV IS NOT A GAY DISEASE. i realize they may have their heads up their rears to keep anyone from sticking something else in there, but if they’d take just a moment to remove them and breathe air, they could find out that HIV/AIDS is an epidemic that is taking the lives of plenty of heterosexuals the world over. newsflash: africa, folks. newsflash: southeast asia. newsflash: america. i can (sadly) keep on going.

maybe then, we’d have to have a bit more sex ed in the schools to help out with that issue. but of course, the children of these folks won’t have sex until they’re married at 42, so it’s unnecessary.

so i guess i did talk about marriage after all. huh.

freedom to marry week: why can't VA be like NJ

freedom to marry week: why can't VA be like NJ

so let me get this straight:

my friend, who has been with her partner for decades, has two children with her partner. if she dies, her partner, the other parent, may have no legal right to those children? so the children may end up with people who they do NOT know as parents, just because citizens cannot get over their petty little phobias about two women having sex? so the children should be irreparably punished for this?

and how is this part of a family-friendly agenda?

at least voters in my home state of NJ aren’t as backward as the yee-fucking-ha backwater citizens of virginia. although this analysis by a fellow alum from my grad school is quite interesting.

meth and sudafeds

meth and sudafeds

i saw a powerful frontline the other day on the war against methamphetamines. it isn’t every day i am riveted to a show about drugs, but this was amazing… and meth is no ordinary drug. according to researchers, using meth actually changes the structure of the brain, rendering users unable to feel pleasure anymore without the drug. this sort of thing makes it incredibly difficult to rehab abusers.

also according to the show, the drug czar guy who managed to shut down quaaludes (people from the ’70s will remember that disco gem) by going after the factories that produced the necessary chemical was thwarted from doing the same thing for years. thus, the nine factories that produce ephedrine or pseudoephedrine (the ingredients necessary to make meth) had free reign to sell to all sorts of cartels and bad guys, thanks to our friends in the pharmaceutical industry. (you should have heard the lame-ass legislative guy from pfizer talking about that one.) to think that the pharmaceutical companies were more concerned about their bottom line over public health — for shame. though, of course, i am not surprised at all.

so sudafeds and the like must be gotten from behind the drugstore counter in most places, something i support. otherwise, you get these people who buy zillions of packages and then use them to make meth. it probably didn’t bother the folks at the pharmaceutical companies, of course — hell, they probably sold more product that way. but now, people have to sign in with their pharmacist, a move that certainly can’t be harmful to anyone.

i’m ranting all about this because i have been suffering from an upper respiratory snot-fest that has lasted for over two weeks now. today, i went to purchase some robitussin CF, to find that pseudephrine has been replaced with a new decongestant. i am hoping this decongestant doesn’t make my heart race the way pseudephrine does. (some of us don’t go for that sort of thing, you know.) cross your fingers.

freedom to marry week: Virginia is for haters

freedom to marry week: Virginia is for haters

my friend kelly suggested that we all write about freedom to marry week, something which is happening this very week as we speak. as someone who married a lot earlier than she ever anticipated and who will be celebrating her 17th wedding anniversary next month (and 20 years together in may), i have had plenty of time to contemplate marriage in many ways. my kneejerk thought about the institution, of course, is that lesbians and gays ought to have the opportunity to experience the same misery we heteros get to experience.

::drum shot::

but seriously, i remember the first time i ever thought about freedom for gays and lesbians to marry legally. when i started work a zillion years ago at AOL, i remember the HR person talking about how the company policies considered people who had been cohabiting for a certain number of years eligible for coverage under an employee’s health policy. initially, i thought only of people who were living together for years and years. but then i wondered — was this extended to same-sex couples? i think it was, as there were several critical employees who i knew to be openly-gay and who were in long-term relationships with their partners. i remember thinking, wow, that’s pretty progressive in a work-for-hire state like VA 😉

and then, when i worked at another very progressive place, i was downright proud of the policies offered vis a vis GLBTs.

so it really smacked me in the head last year when the marriage amendment was ratified in virginia. apparently, we have a lot of intolerant people in this state (no surprise — they just assume arlington and alexandria fall off and re-join DC). borrowed from equality virginia, here are some of the delightful injustices allowed in this state. and i quote:

Virginia lags behind much of the rest of the country in the protections it offers its gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender residents:

  • In 2006 Virginia voters ratified an amendment to the Virginia Constitution banning marriage equality for gay and lesbian Virginians, and denying legal relationship recognition for all unmarried couples.
  • Earlier, in 2004, the Virginia General Assembly passed the “Affirmation of Marriage Act” (HB 751) banning civil unions and other contract rights for same-sex couples in the state.
  • In Virginia, it is permissable to discriminate against someone in employment, housing, banking or public accomodations based on sexual orientation or gender identity and expression.
  • Virginia does not allow second-parent adoptions for unmarried couples, leaving these families and children without critical protections.
  • Sexual orientation and gender identity and expression are not included in the state’s hate crimes law.
  • Although it is inconsistent with the 2003 Lawrence v. Texas U.S. Supreme Court ruling, Virginia still has not repealed the so-called “crimes against nature” law making sodomy a Class 6 felony.

Yeah, Virginia is for Haters, all right.

i'm briny-fresh!

i'm briny-fresh!

since the list of antibiotics i can use without having an allergic reaction is getting smaller and smaller, i am learning to cope without antibiotics (unless, of course, i am deathly. and one day, some stupid little minor bug might kill me. but let’s not dwell on that unpleasantness right now and instead place our faith in the gods at Merck and other pharmaceutically-inclined places.)

i’ve got a nasty sinus infection. the nurse practitioner at my hematologist’s gave me a sample of neilmed’s sinus rinse. not to be confused with cream rinse. basically, it’s a saline solution you mix at home and then squirt through a nostril until it runs right out the other and/or your throat! see what kind of fun you can have when you try homeopathy, boys and girls? so i gave it a whirl. or a squirt, to be more exact. i wasn’t sure it could penetrate my nose, which is in awful shape at the moment. but magically, salty water came out the other nostril (note: stand OVER the sink when you try this at home, friends.)

i don’t know if it will work, but i learned a little bit about anatomy today. how things are connected. that sort of thing 😉

prepping for my second opinion

prepping for my second opinion

i am off to meet my brother’s immunologist in philly tomorrow. i’m sure i’ll freeze what remaining platelets i have off 😉 seriously, my platelets were good today (194, down from two months ago but still extremely good), and i have a little elevated granularity and white cells, which is actually good because i have an awful sinus infection/upper respiratory yuck, which means my immune system is having a go at whatever nastiness i have in me 🙂 i have lots of exciting papers to take with me about my blood, too, including my bone marrow test, which i haven’t the foggiest idea what it means 😉

here are the numbers i have to beat (from september):

IGA – 23 (81-463)
IGG – 352 (694-1618)
IGM (normal) – 141 (48-271)

Globulin – 1.9L (2.2-4.2)
A/G ratio – 2.2 H (0.8-2.0)

here’s hoping i am just a humdrum low IGA kind of girl…

how do SAHMs vote?

how do SAHMs vote?

as someone who has a masters in political science/public policy (you know, back before i traded in my brain for motherhood ;-), i wonder whether linda hirshman is being a bit narrow in her interpretation. frankly, the majority of americans have no earthly clue about politics, how they’re represented, or frankly most issues facing us. it really isn’t just us SAHMs. she’s right about the real simple business, i’m sure; but substitute maxim or some other magazine for men, and i’d say men and women are on par here. frankly, most presidential elections since i can remember (and that would be the 1970s for me) have been won or lost more on character traits of the candidates than actual issues. for example, while some say carter lost because of iran, what really mowed him down IMHO was the charisma (and i say that between gritted teeth; i am not a fan of the gipper’s) of reagan. and don’t get me started on the character (ha!) traits that helped Dubya win. at least once 😉

the other night, i was trying desperately to fall asleep, and i turned on the TV in a vain hope to bore myself. i ended up watching “one versus 100,” a new game show on at p.m. one question asked involved the name of the president of iran. besides his name, the other potential answers were “albondigas” (a type of food) and “azerbijan” (you know, a former soviet republic.) when the host asked one woman why she chose azerbijan, she said that “it sounded like something she had heard once on the news.” but she had no earthly idea what it was. that pretty much sums up for me the political awareness of the majority of american voters. for whatever reason — too many other commitments in life, lack of education, complete non-interest — most americans have no clue about our political world nor do they care to spend much time understanding the nuances. (or maybe it has become too complex; i don’t know.)

sure, here in DC, you obviously get more of the interested folks. but even so, we are still part of the country, and not everyone has the time or inclination to study the issues when there are diapers to change or carpools to run — or even clocks to punch at jobs. i guess what i’m trying to say is that i think it isn’t really valuable for her to look anecdotally at SAHMs in this way; i suspect plenty of WOHMs, SAHDs, or WOHDs — frankly, people in general in the US, working or not, parents or not, are not engaged in the political process or in issues overall. in short, i bet she would get similar responses from a random sample of people, period. the argument seems flawed to me.

carnival cruise – review from a family perspective

carnival cruise – review from a family perspective

we just returned from our very first cruise, a cruise on the Carnival Ship Inspiration. since folks are always interested in information about family-friendly vacation options, i thought i’d share my .02 in case anyone was interested. eventually, i will do a full review. we (DH, 8 year old BC, 3.5 year old hellboy, and i) went on this cruise not knowing what to expect. we booked it last minute, as it seemed like a really reasonably-priced way to have some fun and visit two ports.

carnival touts its “camp carnival” program as the answer to the cruising parents’ prayers — you get a break while the kids are having fun. camp is available to kids 2 to teen. people we met on the cruise were surprised — their travel agent told them that their 21 month old could participate, but the folks on the cruise told them that he could not, so they had a special friend with them throughout the cruise and no break. it seemed like there was some naptime geared to the under-2 set at lunch time for an hour (this would have been completely useless for my kids had they been at that age at that time — when they were babies, they napped in the a.m. and in the p.m. but not over lunchtime), but other than that, the only thing available to parents with kids under 2 would be paying for babysitting from 10 pm until 3 am. i can’t speak much to the under-two situation, but if you were considering a cruise with carnival, you would be wise to make sure that your expectations are in line with what they offer. oh, and know that anyone not potty-trained may not swim in the pool. any pool. period.

we were surprised to find that camp occurs in spurts. most days, it starts around 9 through noon. then, they close for lunch and reopen at 2 (except on days when they have family events at 1:00 — more on that later.) until about 5pm. they close again at 5 and then sometimes reopen for dinner, sometimes not in the 5:45 range until 10pm. after 10, you must pay for a babysitter — $6/hour for first child, $4/hour for second — which is available until 3 a.m. some of the activities are fun — the older kids built, painted, and exploded a volcano. the younger kids basically played with toys, colored a bit, and listened to stories. but they tout this as an “award-winning program”. who gave the award — sony? my eight year old was surprised that two hours in the day — one in the a.m., one in the p.m. — was dedicated to playing with playstation2 and gameboys. “mama,” she said, “why don’t they ever take us to the pool? we shouldn’t be playing with gameboys on vacation!” this sort of programming smacks of laziness, so much so that if an eight-year-old can figure it out, then i wonder why the children’s programmers cannot. in short, you’d do better at a program at a club med, activity-wise, where they take the kids swimming, do sports and circus activities, painting, and a show. while the kids had fun when they were there, it was due more to being around other kids their own ages rather than due to the programming. (oh — and that 1:00 family program? it’s “build your own bear — carnival cruise bear. for $19.99, of course. like you need to shell out more money and pay for more crap to schlep through customs.)

timing is an issue for people with young children. if you have children that stay up late and wake up late, bully for you. for the rest of us, staying up really late means you’ll pay in a big way the next morning. the allure of partying until 3 a.m. is lost on sleepy parents of young children, methinks. unfortunately, most of the nightlife (shows, events, tournaments) starts at 9:30/10:00, so carnival essentially nickels-and-dimes you for childcare if you actually want to participate in any of the things you came on the boat for in the first place. conversely, if you are like us, you never get to see any of the shows because if you stay up really late, you’ll pay for it the next day when your three year old bounces out of bed very early. in short, cruise ship schedules are not exactly young-family-friendly. the people who dreamed up the schedule on this ship either are childless or live with mary poppins, who cheerfully provides childcare 24/7 and lets the parents sleep in at will.

the dining room was the best part of the trip. i cannot say enough wonderful things about the dining room staff, who remembered that my kids liked chocolate milk at dinner and brought it out each night. they were pleasant beyond compare and downright wonderful mostly. if your kid is a finicky eater, there is pizza and chicken nuggets galore. the food is average (hello — indian food requires actual spices, people), even decent in spots, and i still miss the warm melted chocolate cake. which i ordered. every night. and it shows.

the pools on the ship were quite small (it is a ship, after all), though my eight year old enjoyed the water slide. (i think you have to be 48 inches tall for that.) the kiddie pool, near a little play area, is very small. on our first day, it was filled with things like splenda bags, cigarette butts, and other yuck. my kids adored this tiny pool, though (only 18 inches deep) because when the ship rocked, it turned into a crazy wave pool (unintentionally). eventually, the pool was cleaned out so i didn’t have to wonder what sort of nasty filth my kids were swimming in.

other cruise lines are undoubtedly different from carnival. but the carnival clientele is not dominated by urban parents: it’s predominantly middle america, people from the heartland who smoke aplenty (and they did, which even irritated my kids), drink aplenty (and those drinks with the umbrellas ain’t cheap), and apparently who think it’s cool to get t-shirts from the harley davidson store in grand cayman even though harleys are american. (note: pet peeve alert — the smoking area rules were not enforced at all. if you do not like being around cigarette smoke, you really need to be aware of this.) they were shocked that my kids ate from the sushi bar (and OHMIGAWD what a brave move for carnival to put one on board, open from 5-8 many evenings but very smoky due to its position near a bar) and even more shocked the night they offered indian food.

anyway, that’s pretty much the family angle. i will also point out that the cruise price is just the beginning. everything costs extra. sodas. (my daughter asked for lemonade with dinner, and apparently, that wasn’t considered a juice. $2 + tip, please.) as you can probably glean, i am probably not a cruiser, as i don’t like feeling like i am being nickled-and-dimed for everything. club med sandpiper was a much better value, imho (and no, i don’t work there — i’ve just been there several times) and does a much better job with the kids program. IMHO, carnival should take note.

happy birthday to ya

happy birthday to ya

today is dr. king’s birthday. i tried to spend a few minutes with BC explaining why dr. king should be celebrated. we talked about how when i was young, there were states that didn’t want to have a day set aside to honor dr. king. and because you know that whenever i explain something, there’s usually a musical angle to it, i told her about stevie wonder writing happy birthday as a way to lobby americans to have this day. so now, we’re all dancing around the family room to steveland.

happy birthday!

yep. i'm this generation's erma bombeck

yep. i'm this generation's erma bombeck

BS thinks that i could have a career as this generation’s Erma Bombeck. i guess i have a weird little slant on life that is somewhat universal in nature. i just left him laughing on the couch, thanks to a Lands End leggings and tunic outfit that i’m wearing that is ripped in the thighs. the damn thing is eight years old; i remember buying it soon after having BC because it was stretchy, comfy, and forgiving. but eight, as they say, is probably enough. i sat on the couch, cross-legged, and looked down; then i looked up at him. and i burst into song:

sung to the tune of “Oh Holy Night”

oh, holey pants
my thighs are peeking through them.
it is the time to buy a new fucking pair.

ok. shakespeare it ain’t. but for some reason, he thought it was funny. and there are very few things funnier than when you can get my husband, mr. quieter-than-quiet, to fall over.

maybe you just had to be there…

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