BC (beloved child the elder) – Page 17

Category: BC (beloved child the elder)

junie b jones by barbara park

Posted on November 20, 2007 by wrekehavoc

pity poor junie b. jones.

the scrappy heroine of many, many books about her hapless adventures in kindergarten and first grade, she has been reviled by plenty of elementary school teachers, who ban her from classrooms because she commits a sin so heinous, she might cripple your child:

she speaks like an honest-to-G-d kid.

some teachers and parents fear that if your kid reads junie b., her english and her grammar will be ruined for years to come. (i know mine has.)

honestly, though, as a writer, i adore junie b.’s voice. park has captured the diction and attitude of a girl-of-a-certain-age to perfection. and as a parent, i adore the fact that her stories are soooo funny, soooo engaging, that BC actually wanted to read. we’ve listened to a bunch of these on tape during car trips, and i’m here to tell you that even BS got wrapped up in the plots. i never, ever understand why people are so frightened by a book. yes, books are very, very powerful instruments. banishing them does no one any good.

in spite of 1st grade teachers discouraging their students from reading from this series, don’t worry about barbara park. i’m sure she’s crying all the way to the bank.

i’m still waiting for junie b to end up as a float in the macy’s t-day parade.

Junie B. Jones’s First Boxed Set Ever! (Books 1-4)

Junie B. Jones’s Second Boxed Set Ever! (Junie B. Jones)

Junie B. Jones’s Third Boxed Set Ever! (Books 9-12)

Junie B. Jones’ Fourth Boxed Set Ever! (Junie B. Jones)

the best/worst christmas pageant ever

Posted on November 19, 2007 by wrekehavoc

i know, i know. what’s a nice jewish girl like me reading a book like this to her kids?

barbara robinson penned this classic way back in 1972. since then, she has written two more in the series about the six awful Herdman children and how they disrupt life among not just the kids but the entire small-town Ohio community. the Herdmans steal. the Herdmans threaten. the Herdmans are terrible to their insane cat. the Herdmans, left to their own devices by an absentee mother (who chooses to work two shifts at her job, and most of the parents cannot blame her), manage to set fire to things, shut down events, and even paint poor little Howard’s head.

it sounds tragic. but it’s a hoot!

robinson has a dry wit that permeates every bit of this book. you have the bored children, who could care less about the pageant. you have the narrator’s beleagured mother, who gets roped into heading up the pageant this year after the Queen Bee Mother Who Runs Everything (and you moms out there know exactly the type i’m talking about) gets hospitalized. and, of course, you have the Herdmans — six over-the-top children who have never stepped foot inside a church and who, through the oddest of circumstances, end up playing all the lead roles.

if you are looking for a book that de-commercializes christmas in a humorous, lighthearted, but incredibly meaningful way, this is it. this is the literary accompaniment to linus van pelt’s speech in A Charlie Brown Christmas. i’m not even christian, but i can appreciate that. and this is all delivered in a non-preachy, frankly hysterical way that appeals to adults and kids alike.

(BC is still running around the house, proclaiming: HEY! Unto YOU a child is BORN! read the book, and you’ll find out why.)

hey ms. robinson — there are a lot more school holidays. PLEASE write more about the Herdmans!!!!!

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

The Best School Year Ever

The Best Halloween Ever

kit, an american girl by valerie tripp

Posted on November 17, 2007 by wrekehavoc

there are certain things that are predictable when a young lady turns a corner into the tween world. one, that she’ll probably start to love horses. two, that she’ll start asking for sleepovers. and three, that she’ll fall in love with the American Girl doll franchise (or some reasonable facsimile thereof.) i haven’t yet bought BC any AG stuff (i don’t feel like putting a second mortgage on the house to do so); and we have not yet made any treks to the big store in the Big Apple; but we do enjoy reading the American Girl books. and probably our favorite series thus far (we’re still not nearly anywhere near done) involved Kit, a girl from the Great Depression.

kit is a plucky girl picked out of one of those andy hardy musicals, only, there’s no musical involved here. she wants to be a newsgirl, and she starts out the series as a very proud, somewhat spoiled little chick. but don’t you fret — the Great Depression beats her ass down but good. (naw, i’m joking. sort of.) the chick never loses hope, even when the bank threatens to take her house back. i love the way that the american girl series’ get you talking about american history — sort of like sneaking veggies into your kids’ food and they don’t even know it.

last year, BC did a book report on the series. some of you faithful readers may remember my panic when i realized that girlfriend wanted to dress up like kit. but it all worked out, and i only wish i could get BC to dress in that 1930s garb again — she looked adorable. then again, i’m a sucker for the early ’30s — i still remember the time i made up a drinking game with friends to a marx brothers movie. any time they said something of that period, you had to drink. things like: “say!”

yep. loved the ’30s. pity that asshole hitler had to go and destroy it all. too bad he wasn’t sucked away in a dustbowl.

Kit an American Girl (6 Book Set)

the ABC meme

Posted on November 16, 2007 by wrekehavoc

i’ve been tagged by cynematic to make a glossary of me. ::a you’re adorable, b, you’re so beautiful, c you’re a cutie full of charm::

ok. i’ll knock it off.

rules: list a word that describes you for every letter of the alphabet. offer as much or as little explanation as you wish. please keep the words positive (for example, don’t use “fat�? for F or “lame�? for L), and feel free to get creative. tag as many or as few people as you wish. Link back to your tagger and forward to your taggees.

note that i don’t always keep it positive. but i always keep it real. ::cue MTV-type music here::

a – asshole. yeah. i said it. i’m an asshole sometimes. like i get all angsty and sarcastic and bunched up.

b – bread and brownie baker. those are the two dishes i do well, generally. ask me to cook something, though, and take your life into your own hands.

c – cake baker — i do cookies and cakes well, too.

d – depressed. i generally see the world as a place filled with half-empty glasses. and not the rose-colored kind, either. i fight it; i really do. but i wasn’t voted “class pessimist” back in high school because of my sunny disposition. which, i do have at times, you should know. (hmm. maybe m ought to be for manic depressive?)

e – emotionally perceptive. i may not be einstein when it comes to things like chemistry, but i am einstein when it comes to being perceptive about human chemistry. the only one who continues to puzzle me in that department, of course, is BS. after 20 years, he still surprises me. sometimes in good ways, even.

f – family. from the day i was born, it has been drummed into my head that this is the most important thing in life. nevermind how mad you might get at your brother — he’s still your brother and you have to love him. period. that’s life growing up in my family. summing it up would be my favorite quote from my father: home is the place where they have to take you in.

g – Google Queen. i’ve found out how to fix toilets, how to find old friends, and how to make always perfect sweet-n-sour meatballs thanks to my friend Google.

h – hopeful. i may be depressed, but i always have hope. hope for peace. hope for love. hope for chocolate.

i – insanely happy. i have moments when i probably go over the line and into the blue. i bubble over, and i cannot contain it. really. and it happens at the damndest times. like when i walked out of the hospital after a hematologist’s visit where i was joined by jools. and i was so glad to be leaving there, and the sun was shining just so, and i was holding him so that he didn’t get caught in the revolving door. and he pressed his nose up to mine and smiled. and i was simply full.

j – joker. everything must be funny. even my tragedies.

k – kisser. i come from a family of huggers and kissers. i think i freaked my future father in law out when i first met him. i walked up to him and gave him a big hug and kiss. that’s just how we do it. the nice thing, of course, is that over the years, my husband followed suit and even hugs and kisses his dad, too 🙂

l – love. i fall in love every. single. day. with. so. much. beauty. in. my. life.

m – mama. i worked really, really hard to get called by this name. when BC or jools call me by my first name, i stop her or him, not because it’s a respect thing. i stop the kid because it is my very honor to be called mama, and there are only two people in the world who can call me that. and they damn well better call me that, or a variation of it, until the day i die.

n – nuisance. ask BS what he thinks i am when he’s trying to be good and mad and be in a total snit. and i make a lizard face. or crack a wildly inappropriate joke. yep. with a capital N.

o – outrageous. i have a bit of a mouth on me, and that mouth has gotten me into trouble from time to time. i’ll refrain from some of my, ehhem, finer moments.

p – psychedelic. i dig psychedelic music and psychedelic art. i can’t really speak to the issue of psychedelics themselves, though.

q- quite quarrelsome. okay, okay, i stole that from maurice sendak.

r – restless. i am always interested in things that are new. i can’t sit still.

s – shockingly spoiled. also stolen from maurice sendak. also true.

t – tenacious. i don’t give up.

u – unusually musically oriented. i associate people and situations with songs. i play by ear. music is my daily catharsis.

v – vocal. not shy. shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to.

w – writer. i am a writer. i have always been a writer, even when i was sidetracked into three other careers. i will always be a writer.

x – x-tra smart. so smart, i can’t think of an x word. but i’m on it.

y-yawning. i am always tired. i have been tired since 1998. i’ll sleep when i’m dead.

z – zipper-challenged. i can’t fix zippers. i break zippers. somehow, i missed that day at mommy school where they taught you how to fix them when they’re off track. velcro is my friend.

tagging these alpha females in alpha order:

tied to my apron strings

and one cool alpha dude:

philfree

matilda by roald dahl

Posted on November 16, 2007 by wrekehavoc

we first met matilda when one of BC’s best friends gave out books in birthday goody bags instead of plastic crap. (yay, mira!!) we were further encouraged when BC’s second grade english teacher, a roald dahl fanatic and all-around amazing teacher, read the BFG and the twits to the class with great animation and admiration for the works. at this time, we’ve read the book several times. we’ve even seen the movie twice, though admittedly, the book is much, much better.

read this book.

the story, about a genius girl who faces some of the worst adults ever (including her parents and her principal), is a wonderful fantasy about how adults are not infallible — and how love can prevail. you have to laugh at the names in the book (Bogtrotter?); and you will be surprised when matilda’s parents scold her for doing something so terribly naughty as reading books instead of watching crap TV.

if words like telekinetic scare the bejeebers out of you, fear not: this is not any sort of carrie meets the horsey set. but you will laugh. i promise. and you will cheer on matilda and miss honey with abandon as the story goes on.

i think the very britishness of it is what is lost in the movie, now that i think of it. and that’s simply wrong. it’s not that danny devito or rhea perlman do a bad job; they don’t. but this is a british story within a british school and caste system. without that, it misses a bit. after all, this is the story that got BC singing: we don’t need no education. we don’t need no thought control. [note to self: don’t let her go into school singing that.]

so read the book — don’t see the movie first — or else i’ll bend a spoon, or move a desk with my mind. or something like that. cos if matilda can do it…

Matilda

memories

Posted on November 14, 2007 by wrekehavoc

sometimes, i stop and look at my kids and i learn something.

like today, f’rinstance. BC was getting ready for school. she’s participating in girls on the run, and she’s training for her first 5k. i would like to point out that i have never run 5k (not consecutively, anyway), so i’m pretty proud of her. and even if she doesn’t finish the race, the fact that she’s out there, trying, is enough to make me feel all chuffed. i rediscovered this entry. never would i have pictured that little skinnyskinnythang as someone who likes to run. in fact, back then, she was so tiny, her pants fell down. i couldn’t picture her as someone who would even be remotely athletic, she was so sickly for awhile.

but she is. not an olympian, you know, but she’s one who likes to flip on the bars and run her little heart out.

and i remember a little baby boy who couldn’t get himself to sleep. i would cry myself to sleep, remembering how angry his little face was at the time. why couldn’t i get him to sleep? why couldn’t i make it better? now, he hits a point where he puts his arm around my neck, kisses me, and tells me that he’s ready to go to sleep: “can you please leave now, mommy?”

i have to remember whenever we are challenged that things usually do get better. i have a way of making myself crazy with worry over every little picayune thing.

reading is fundamental: books for tweens and preschoolers

Posted on November 14, 2007 by wrekehavoc

fear not: i’m in a happy reading state of mind now.

why, you ask? for starters, i’m currently gripped by an apoplectic fear that some toy i might purchase for a birthday or a holiday will end up getting sent back on a slow boat to china. worse still, it might poison a kid. so pick a book. even if it’s a baby book and the kid does chew on it, it hopefully won’t be laden with lead.

there are some who think that some of the books i’d choose poison a kid. i mean, some of these authors, like my fave judy blume, end up on banned books lists year after year. they deal with topics like sex, or drugs, or rock and roll. or maybe a combo of all three. and some parents are so damned threatened by this idea.

now i am not a model parent. BC will be quick to tell you that i curse; i’m a major boohoo; i’m unfair from time to time; and i don’t let her live on reese’s peanut butter cups. but i like to delude myself believe that i have a pretty good relationship with my kids. we talk about lots of things. hell, they bring up stuff waaaay before i’m ready. and i try to answer them as honestly as i can — although believe me, sometimes, the answer is pretty short since they can’t handle the whole truth at times.

and when we read books together, we talk about them. if the characters are freaked out because they don’t fill up a bra yet, that’s fodder. if the characters are frightened by witches, we go there, too. i suspect a day will come when the kids will be smarter than i am, and they’ll start asking questions about nuclear particles and neurotransmitters. i’ll be the one, then, who gets to ask the questions.

but in the meantime, i get to be the smarty. i’m the mommy; that’s why.

so for a week, i’m going to share some of my favorite tween girl books, books that BC and i have enjoyed, sometimes multiple times. i’ll then magically pick a book or two that bridges the gap and that can be enjoyed by a tween girl AND a preschool boy (for those nights when i’m solo parenting and have to kill two birds with one stone. so to speak.) and then, onto preschool goodness. i’ll try to pick some faves as well as some slightly off-beat works.

but know that these are all kid-tested and mom-approved… of course, if you’re the type of mom who has perfect hair, has perfect kids, and is perfectly uncomfortable with anything remotely controversial, then these may not be perfect for you. if, however, you’ve an open mind, well, then. pull up a chair 🙂

read on, macduff.

kids books i loathe: love you forever by robert munsch

Posted on November 11, 2007 by wrekehavoc

a caveat here: BS found canadian author robert munsch’s website and downloaded a bazillion stories from it for a recent car trip. some of them are downright hilarious. the kids continue to quote from one in particular, especially since it contains the name of one of their beloved cousins: mac-ken-zie….do…YOU…have to go PEE? (this is what passes for art around here somedays.)

that being said, it’s a good thing i didn’t realize that they were written by the same guy who wrote love you forever or else i possibly would have nixed the project from the start. (shows you how exceptionally open-minded i am sometimes, huh.) but this book, in my book, is a major stinker. we’re talking skunker-times-1000.

i remember reading a review of this once from a self-righteous man who reckoned that if you didn’t like this book, you must never have experienced a selfless mother’s love. (sort of like those people who say that if you criticize our foreign policy, you must not be a patriot.) balderdash to that. my momma loves me, she loves me. and still, i can’t stand this one. for starters, i can’t get through this thing without crying buckets of tears, much to BC’s amusement.

if my tears were all that stood between me and this book, then i would be ok with that. but there is something about this book that is just so exceptionally creepy once you’re past the whole baby-child phase. i know all about allegory; but still, the idea of the elderly mom creeping up into the grown man’s house just made me think of one too many thriller movies. attack of the senior? throw momma from the window? my mother the breaking and entering chick? i dunno. it’s all just too freaky for me.

and then, the cycle continues with a new baby.

::cue twilight zone music::

Love You Forever

kids books i loathe: the eloise series by kay thompson

Posted on November 10, 2007 by wrekehavoc

i may surprise a few people with this next pick, a beloved 50+ year old chestnut. and i will say that i love the illustrations for this one. but i find our friend eloise incredibly irksome.

see, where zillions of people see spunky girl, i see spoiled brat. where zillions of people see cheeky young lady pulling pranks, i see girl who really is lacking proper supervision and guidance. where people see convenient plot device in absentee parents, i see little lady who lacks consideration for anyone else’s needs but her own — and a solid reason to call the division of youth and family services. pronto.

i really do not see anything uplifting about eloise. truly. i wish i did. like i said, i adore the illustrations, an ancestor to one of my favorite children’s books, olivia. i love a subversive heroine as much as the next girl — some of my faves include the aforementioned pig, clarice bean, junie b. jones, and beverly cleary’s ramona — some of whom i’ll discuss in my part of the month on books i love for kids. but i don’t see eloise as subversive. i see her as a sad little brat, what i imagine paris hilton would have been like if she had been abandoned in the plaza hotel with nothing but a know-nothing nanny. and i simply cannot enjoy her tales because of it.

BS hated this book so much that he banned it from the house. i’ve softened that a bit, as i don’t believe in banning books. EVER. so i told BC she is welcome to get the eloise books out of the library. but she must read them herself. i can’t wait to see her try.

Eloise

great music for kids: Smithsonian Folkways Children's Music Collection

Posted on November 5, 2007 by wrekehavoc

on a whim, i purchased the smithsonian folkways children’s music collection CD when BC was a baby. it quickly became a firm favorite in our house. smithsonian folkways has some amazing recordings by some heavy hitters in american music: people like woody guthrie, leadbelly, pete seeger, and an old fave of mine, ella jenkins. you even have langston hughes reading some poetry on here. our faves ended up being woodie guthrie’s car song, seeger’s all around the kitchen, the animal alphabet song by alan mills, and whoopie ti yi yo, get along little dogies (cisco houston.) of course, with the latter, my fondest giggle is courtesy of BS and his dry humor. he would always sing it:

whoopie ti yo yo, get along little dogies

it’s your misfortune and not my own

whoopie ti yo yo, get along little dogies

you know that mcdonalds will be your new home.

yep. we start our kids on snarky from the get-go.

anyway, i grew up with a lot of folk music, thanks to my mom. and folk music is a wonderful way to introduce kids to a whole world of people. people like them. people with problems, people who are happy, people everywhere. folk music often has reflected the tenor of the times. i love a lot of folk music. and this CD is a fabulous jumping-off spot for the genre.