political animal – Page 9

Category: political animal

dreaming is free

Posted on January 2, 2008 by wrekehavoc

so today starts the day when i am officially trying to eat better, sleep more, and somehow magically become a more patient, calm human being. maybe not in that order.

on the eating better/exercise front, i have once again started on the body for life bandwagon. i don’t intend to turn into a major bodybuilder, but i know that i want to have muscle. and i also don’t want to end up like some cardio bunny who spends three hours at aerobic activity but who has no muscle tone. (there’s a lady like that at the community center, a pert and perky 90 pound-soaking-wet lady who probably lives in fear when it gets windy out; every day i am there, you can find her walking around the track, walking and walking and walking.)

there are two areas of weights at the community center. one is the area for the regular people, i like to think. it’s loaded more with weight machines, although there’s a row of free weights and one lonely bench. you usually find seniors here, along with most of the women who deign to use weights. in an enclosed glass area, you’ll find the grunt area, loaded with mostly men (like arlington firefighters, for example), many of whom i think i’d be scared of in other circumstances. lots of free weights, barbells, benches, and truly heavy-duty machines where you have to actually load the weights onto the bar.

today, i hung out in the latter. there was one other woman there, a hardcore lifter. the rest were all guys. now you have to ask yourself what these guys are doing here at 10:00 a.m. on a wednesday morning, but that’s a whole other issue for another time, i’m sure. i had my BFL book and was trying to follow the different lifts when i noticed people occasionally looking at me, like i was some sort of dancing dog. it was weird (to say the least), but i persisted. i’m going back there tomorrow, even though i worked my arms so hard today, they already feel like jello. i’ll focus on my legs and abdomen.

sleeping more is a challenge. i never get to bed early — there are always 56,000 things to do before i go to bed. and i always wake up at 6 because that’s when BS’s alarm goes off; and anyway, i have to get jools ready for school at 6:30, latest. maybe i will buy a giant neon sign to hang over my kitchen which goes off, alarm-like, at 9 pm. GO TO BED it will flash. and i won’t be able to ignore it (like the dirty dishes.)

now, the patience and calm part? you got me there. it’s pretty damn hard as a parent to do so, i can tell you. there’s always something to worry about (is my child learning to IM people on the internet? is my child spitting at his teacher? is my child currently visible on a post office wanted poster?). when the kids are alright, there’s always something to worry about regarding the house, especially considering that my masters is not in housekeeping or maintenance. and, if all else fails and there’s nothing wrong with the kids or the house, i can always worry about world affairs. (i’m still reeling over the assassination of benazir bhutto. obviously, i am not happy that pakistan is in an uproar; but the jewish mother in me wonders how bhutto’s children and husband are handling things. in short, i want to bring them some soup.)

if anyone has bright ideas regarding steps i can take to achieve my own private nirvana, i am all ears. until then, a girl can dream, i suppose. assuming she gets to sleep, that is.

explaining homosexuality to a 9 year old

Posted on December 16, 2007 by wrekehavoc

BS left a Time Magazine on the top of the toilet as he always does. he’s always weeks behind on his quality reading, so this issue must be at least a month or so old. one headline that screams from the cover: Yep, He’s Gay.

BC and i were in the bathroom at the same time, she washing her hands and me drying mine. it was one of those slow-motion moments where i saw her eyes leap to the monosyllabic words, words she can easily read. and i knew hilarity would ensue.

mama, girlfriend said, what does that mean?

what?

“gay” she said. duh, mama.

attempting to be as matter of fact as if i were discussing butter or baseball, i replied, gay is when two people are in love with each other and they are both men or both women.

i saw girlfriend processing this one. she made an uneasy face. i wanted to head it off at the pass.

you know, buzz (one of her nicknames), i added, in this world, you are lucky if you can find someone you love who loves you back. it doesn’t really matter whether it’s a boy or a girl.

that finished it. we were both satisfied.

fin.

my big, fat walt disney world vacation. part 2.

Posted on December 7, 2007 by wrekehavoc

you didn’t think i was done yet, did you?

after surviving our trip on amtrak’s autotrain (which was actually a positive experience save for some of our fellow passengers), we made our way to walt disney world. because there were specific places where we wanted to dine while there, like boma (although it wasn’t quite as much fun without my pal jaxx and her daughter beans along like last time), we signed up for the disney meal plan; it just ended up a more cost effective proposition.

the disney meal plan at this time gives you one sit-down meal, one counter service meal, and one snack per day, tip and tax inclusive. considering how expensive walt’s food is, it’s a good deal unless you’re willing to travel off-grounds. (so good a deal, i think, that they will be altering the plan next year and not including tip. at least.) we brought in milk and cereal for breakfast and basically ate lunch, dinner, and the snack (though we ended up losing a few meals in the end.) unfortunately, this results in a boatload of food if you’re not careful. and while i think i walked a thousand miles while there (which is why i didn’t gain weight in the end), i felt like the hindenberg much of the time because the food is so caloric.

despite my attempts to eat plenty of veggies and salad, i started to feel like i had gained a thousand pounds while at the park. i wasn’t feeling my best. i wasn’t happy at the happiest place on earth, and i guess it showed. mama, BC said, don’t worry. you’re not fat. have you seen some of the people here?

while my beloved child was being kind to me (a year on steroids and two babies and i’m not exactly twiggy), she did make me realize something: compared to a lot, and i do mean a lot of my fellow americans, i am not hefty. well, i am hefty, but the people we saw this week were in a class by themselves. we all read about the epidemic of obesity in this country; but this past week, i experienced it up close and personal. realize that i am in no position whatsoever to throw stones. i love people who are shaped small, large, and in-between. further, not only are plenty of people i love on the large side, but i’m not remotely close to being thin. repeat: i am pretty damn huge. but i’m in a different league than a lot of the folks i saw. it’s like a comedian i saw once said: there’s large, extra large, and oh my G-d, it’s coming toward us!

hell, it’s a small world is getting rehabbed because our asses are too big to sit in the damn boats.

the connection i made was with the amount of strollers i saw. there were 20 year old kids being pushed in supersized, double-wide rented strollers. okay, okay, maybe i’m going a little over the top here. they weren’t 20. but kids BC’s age in strollers? damn, we don’t even let jools sit in a stroller. if you’re old enough to go to disney, you’re old enough to walk (unless, of course, you’re infirm. i get that. i really do.) now i agree, that’s a lot of walking for little legs. and there are times when we’ve had to pick jools up and give him a shoulder ride because either he simply wasn’t keeping up OR because the crowd was so tremendous, we were afraid he’d get trampled. OR we altered our plans a little for a rest period. but still. people were pushing old kids around. my parents didn’t keep us in strollers; we don’t keep our kids in strollers. i’m surprised and curious to find out why elementary school aged children needed to be pushed around.

while i’m ranting on the subject, i especially love when people try to put those strollers in the craziest situations. you’re supposed to fold them up before getting on the tram to the parking lot. there are rides where you simply must park the stroller because there’s simply not enough room for the thing on the queue. and G-d knows you’re not supposed to put a stroller on an escalator. yet those stupid people whom G-d must dearly love, yes, yeah verily, they are alive, well, and visiting orlando. in droves. with children who are old enough to not need those contraptions. someone needs to photograph each kid in the stroller (just like they do for people running red lights in DC) and then threaten to show said photo to all of junior’s friends back in podunk, USA.

that’ll get junior’s ass walking.

kit, an american girl by valerie tripp

Posted on November 17, 2007 by wrekehavoc

there are certain things that are predictable when a young lady turns a corner into the tween world. one, that she’ll probably start to love horses. two, that she’ll start asking for sleepovers. and three, that she’ll fall in love with the American Girl doll franchise (or some reasonable facsimile thereof.) i haven’t yet bought BC any AG stuff (i don’t feel like putting a second mortgage on the house to do so); and we have not yet made any treks to the big store in the Big Apple; but we do enjoy reading the American Girl books. and probably our favorite series thus far (we’re still not nearly anywhere near done) involved Kit, a girl from the Great Depression.

kit is a plucky girl picked out of one of those andy hardy musicals, only, there’s no musical involved here. she wants to be a newsgirl, and she starts out the series as a very proud, somewhat spoiled little chick. but don’t you fret — the Great Depression beats her ass down but good. (naw, i’m joking. sort of.) the chick never loses hope, even when the bank threatens to take her house back. i love the way that the american girl series’ get you talking about american history — sort of like sneaking veggies into your kids’ food and they don’t even know it.

last year, BC did a book report on the series. some of you faithful readers may remember my panic when i realized that girlfriend wanted to dress up like kit. but it all worked out, and i only wish i could get BC to dress in that 1930s garb again — she looked adorable. then again, i’m a sucker for the early ’30s — i still remember the time i made up a drinking game with friends to a marx brothers movie. any time they said something of that period, you had to drink. things like: “say!”

yep. loved the ’30s. pity that asshole hitler had to go and destroy it all. too bad he wasn’t sucked away in a dustbowl.

Kit an American Girl (6 Book Set)

reading is fundamental: books for tweens and preschoolers

Posted on November 14, 2007 by wrekehavoc

fear not: i’m in a happy reading state of mind now.

why, you ask? for starters, i’m currently gripped by an apoplectic fear that some toy i might purchase for a birthday or a holiday will end up getting sent back on a slow boat to china. worse still, it might poison a kid. so pick a book. even if it’s a baby book and the kid does chew on it, it hopefully won’t be laden with lead.

there are some who think that some of the books i’d choose poison a kid. i mean, some of these authors, like my fave judy blume, end up on banned books lists year after year. they deal with topics like sex, or drugs, or rock and roll. or maybe a combo of all three. and some parents are so damned threatened by this idea.

now i am not a model parent. BC will be quick to tell you that i curse; i’m a major boohoo; i’m unfair from time to time; and i don’t let her live on reese’s peanut butter cups. but i like to delude myself believe that i have a pretty good relationship with my kids. we talk about lots of things. hell, they bring up stuff waaaay before i’m ready. and i try to answer them as honestly as i can — although believe me, sometimes, the answer is pretty short since they can’t handle the whole truth at times.

and when we read books together, we talk about them. if the characters are freaked out because they don’t fill up a bra yet, that’s fodder. if the characters are frightened by witches, we go there, too. i suspect a day will come when the kids will be smarter than i am, and they’ll start asking questions about nuclear particles and neurotransmitters. i’ll be the one, then, who gets to ask the questions.

but in the meantime, i get to be the smarty. i’m the mommy; that’s why.

so for a week, i’m going to share some of my favorite tween girl books, books that BC and i have enjoyed, sometimes multiple times. i’ll then magically pick a book or two that bridges the gap and that can be enjoyed by a tween girl AND a preschool boy (for those nights when i’m solo parenting and have to kill two birds with one stone. so to speak.) and then, onto preschool goodness. i’ll try to pick some faves as well as some slightly off-beat works.

but know that these are all kid-tested and mom-approved… of course, if you’re the type of mom who has perfect hair, has perfect kids, and is perfectly uncomfortable with anything remotely controversial, then these may not be perfect for you. if, however, you’ve an open mind, well, then. pull up a chair 🙂

read on, macduff.

great music for kids: Smithsonian Folkways Children's Music Collection

Posted on November 5, 2007 by wrekehavoc

on a whim, i purchased the smithsonian folkways children’s music collection CD when BC was a baby. it quickly became a firm favorite in our house. smithsonian folkways has some amazing recordings by some heavy hitters in american music: people like woody guthrie, leadbelly, pete seeger, and an old fave of mine, ella jenkins. you even have langston hughes reading some poetry on here. our faves ended up being woodie guthrie’s car song, seeger’s all around the kitchen, the animal alphabet song by alan mills, and whoopie ti yi yo, get along little dogies (cisco houston.) of course, with the latter, my fondest giggle is courtesy of BS and his dry humor. he would always sing it:

whoopie ti yo yo, get along little dogies

it’s your misfortune and not my own

whoopie ti yo yo, get along little dogies

you know that mcdonalds will be your new home.

yep. we start our kids on snarky from the get-go.

anyway, i grew up with a lot of folk music, thanks to my mom. and folk music is a wonderful way to introduce kids to a whole world of people. people like them. people with problems, people who are happy, people everywhere. folk music often has reflected the tenor of the times. i love a lot of folk music. and this CD is a fabulous jumping-off spot for the genre.

Seven Random Facts About Wrekehavoc

Posted on October 19, 2007 by wrekehavoc

I, too, was tagged by a very cool blogger for this meme. The rules are:

Link to your tagger and post rules.
Share 7 facts about yourself, some random and some weird.
Tag 7 people at the end of post and list their names.
Let them know they were tagged by a comment on their blog.

1. I look down when I walk. It’s probably a self-esteem issue, but it once resulted in my finding $100 on the floor of Ballston Common.

2. I was in law school. Yes, I really was. For a little over a month. I thought I could become a lawyer and save the world. In a sea of mid-1980s preppies, I had spiky hair; and I hated that my fellow students were stealing or hiding the textbooks we needed to read in the law library. I finally had an epiphany one Sunday morning that I didn’t need to be around such hateful people, all to end up in the yellow pages under Divorce Attorney or somesuch. It was one of the most expensive lessons I ever had, and it took me years to pay it off.

3. The first concert I ever attended was Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in November 1980 on The River tour. My oldest brother — you know him now fondly in this blog as BTD, or Brutha the Doctor — lobbied my mother hard to let me go with him and his then-girlfriend. I didn’t like Bruce at all then — but after the show, I was converted. And I never looked back.

Thanks, big brother.

4. When I was young, I liked to mix my tuna salad with applesauce. BS thinks this is probably the most revolting food idea in history. But every now and then, I do it when he’s not looking 😉

5. I was a three-time Jeopardy! winner back in the early 1990s. They made me stand on a box so that I was equal height with the other contestants. And I don’t think Alex Trebek liked me all that much. But that’s a whole other story.

6. One of my geeky friends informed me that my children share the names of two Star Trek characters. This is purely unintentional; I was not channeling the spirit of Gene Roddenberry. (And no one is named Spock or Kirk.)

7. I grew up in what was once a smaller town in NJ, a place that’s now extremely huge and populated. One of the theories is that it’s named for Thomas Luker, a farmer who happened to be BS’s great-grandfather back 10 or so generations (hence, jools’ middle name is Thomas.) I hated the place, feeling constrained and much the outsider. I suspect I’d still feel like an outsider if I returned there, but I lovedlovedloved growing up near the ocean. I loved summers when I’d prowl along the Boardwalk and stare down the bennies, tourists who came from NY or Philly. And, though I’ve grown to love my newer (ha! nearly 20 years I’m here) home, I must confess I have never gotten over the fact that it takes at least three hours to hit the ocean. And now, when I go back to the Jersey Shore, I’m probably considered a benny, too.

I’d love to tag people but they’re still smarting from the last tagging. But anyone who wants to pick up the cause — just let me know in the comments.

bridezilla strikes again

Posted on October 18, 2007 by wrekehavoc

your life must be really, really sad if you feel you must sue a florist for extreme disappointment, distress and embarrassment over the flowers from your wedding. apparently, there goes another person bringing down the legal profession because her flowers weren’t the right color. she wants more than her money back (and who the hell spends $27,435.14 on flowers alone???) — she wants revenge. if i were someone who provides services in the bridal industry, i would politely refer lawyers in love to other people. sure, i’d lose money, but a whole lot less than this.

in my humble opinion, she should perhaps get her money back (i’m sure she had a reasonable expectation that she should get what she paid for, so fair is fair), but nary a penny more.

at the risk of sounding ungrateful, i don’t even remember my wedding. well, not much. i remember being happy that it didn’t rain so that we could marry outside. i remember bees attacking my bridesmaids. i remember putting a “no madonna” clause into the DJ’s contract. (this was 1990, and i was not having any voguing at my party.) beyond that, though, the whole day is blurry.

and that’s why i marvel that people spend sooooo much money on absurd things. weddings are lovely, but why do people go overboard on a day they may not even remember? i love flowers, don’t get me wrong. but nearly $28,000 worth? some people don’t even make that in a year. set up a foundation, people. give it away charitably. if you’re so inclined, you can work it so that you get a tax break. but jeez — $28k for flowers? obscene. $400,000 for emotional distress?

priceless.

oh mercy, mercy me

Posted on October 15, 2007 by wrekehavoc

with sincerest apologies to marvin gaye.

today is blog action day. ~~because i’m a lemming~~ because i’m a bit distraught over the weekend’s events, it comes as something of a relief to write about something like the environment (which tells you how awful the weekend truly was)… although there is a part of me that wonders whether we are adding to the pollution in the blogosphere.

but i digress.

clearly, we need to use less, as my dear pal kellyo notes beautifully. i’ll try to tackle another piece, however picayune, of the puzzle.

recycling is a topic near and dear to my heart, especially on tuesdays when i start getting cans, bottles, cardboard, and the 57 editions of the washington post that BS has left under his chair ready for our friends in the recycling truck on wednesday. i dare not take them to the bins for fear i’ll get chastised by the Woman Who Haunts The Recycling Bins, she who informed me one day that some of my cardboard was not, in fact, cardboard. she wasn’t wrong, and i was chagrined, and now, i am pretty well informed about my paperboard and my cardboard. i’m strongly against segregation, but in this instance, i’ll try to keep the twain from meeting, so to speak. nevertheless, i’ll let my friends in the blue truck help me out in case i’m mistaken one day. i don’t want to be wrong on that and enter recycling hell. more importantly, i don’t want to eff things up and actually create more pollution than i would have if i left things well enough alone.

so i thought i’d share some of my favorite recycled products. just cos.

littlearth license plate handbags. i have been jonesing for a jersey plate handbag ever since i first laid eyes on one of these things on my thelma-n-louse trip to arizona with my pal murph. see — recycle license plates and make them a fashion statement. they should get prisoners working on THESE. correctional centers would actually MAKE money. (note to BS: the ho-li-days are coming…)

recycled aluminum wall clocks. these are SOOO cool, if you like mod-ren sorts of artsyfartsy stuff. which i do, of course. of course these look more like a craft i can take up one rainy day with the kids… speaking of the kids…

junkyard cats. these pups (no pun intended, though they also have dogs and other critters) are made from scrap and rejected garden tools, farm machinery, bicycle and auto parts, which is nice because it keeps them out of the junk heap. [note to self: contact them. your garage alone could furnish noah’s modern ark.]

laptop lunches lunchboxes. not just for kids (or vegans) only! do you have any concept of how much waste is created every day because we all use those little plastic bags or buy individually-packaged cookies or hohos or whatever it is you like in your lunch? yes, these lunchbox systems are made of plastic — it’s recyclable, although at this price, there ain’t no WAY you’re recycling it anytime soon. and they are so gosh-darn cute! if i weren’t afraid BC was going to lose these, i would snap one up in a second. instead, i am trying to reuse some of the little plastic containers i have amassed over the years to pack her lunches. inside a cute, tween-approved lunch sack, of course. (GAWD, mama, you embarrass me!!!) but one day…

now, since i’m just chanelling the hints from heloise chick (for the insane parent-set), some more recycling tips for you moms, dads, and caregivers out there.

1) you know how sometimes, you end up printing more pages than you wanted to off your printer or fax? stop telling the computer to piss off and save those pages. your kids can draw on them til the cows come home. don’t let that tree die in vain.

2) hey you working parents: you know how there’s always some forgetful person at the office who also prints a bajillion pages of things and then leaves them at the printer for a few days? i say, after two days, the statute of limitation ends. if the paper(s) hasn’t been claimed or put in a recycling bin, take THOSE home for your kids to use. my kids thought it was hilarious when they wrote official “mail” that had my company’s logo on it. i just resisted the temptation to actually mail that stuff…

3) all those little bits of crayon you have lying about, naked and too small to be held by even the tiniest preschool hand? make homemade crayons. jools loved coloring with his — it made automatic rainbows.

4) there are tons of things you can make from old computer stuff. i’m hoping i can get BC to make me a disco ball. hell, i’ll hang it from the rear view mirror of the Prius.

5) this one from BS, who has never considered himself terribly crafty: take old CDs or DVDs you don’t want. buy round cork, and glue it to the backs of aforementioned disks. Voila! you’ve got coasters. (and yes, we really, really DO have such coasters in our home. pity we’re so uncivilized that we hardly use them.) BS is such a dark horse. he’s crafty!

6) recycle clothes. (hint: they’re found at rummage sales, jumble sales, goodwill, garage sales…). organize a clothes swapping party with friends. (one of my clever friends does this. there’s always wine, so i’m always there.) i’m thrilled i have friends who take the clothes off my hands, and my friends seem happy that there’s less stuff to buy. happy happy all around. if you want to make money off them, then send them to a consignment shop. but the pain and heartbreak of that process sometimes is not worth the trouble. donate. it’s good for the earth, it’s good for your karma, and hell, it’s so freaking easy. (just don’t donate the things that are permanently covered in vomit. use those as cleaning rags.)

ok. all politics is local. all betterment starts with you. turn off your computer and change the world.

smart and smarter

Posted on October 11, 2007 by wrekehavoc

i luvz me some smart boyz…especially john cusack when he’s interviewing naomi klein. damn, i think he even took his own notes!!! stick it to halliburton, dobler!

(seriously, these two are people i would love to have beers with and chat about stuff. yes. that highly technical term. i iz a prowd produckt of the NJ educashun sistim. kindergarten thru grajuit skool, man.)

but seriously, you know, i used to think me some deep thoughts before i had kids. and i still am willing to go a little beyond the usual soundbyte. i sure am glad i spent plenty of hours in graduate school studying public policy and politics and Things That Matter. and i still do care. i really do. and when i watch interviews like this, i wonder whether my brain will ever return, whether anything i do on a daily basis means anything to the world.

i know, i know: i’m raising children, so i must inherently believe that the world will continue and that i am doing my best to help to steer future folks on a decent, kind, and intelligent path. (case in point: i’ve been working really hard to teach my children that it’s ok to not agree with the President. in fact, it’s a patriotic thing, dang it. anyway, BC one day yelled at me when i said the word republican. mama, she hissed, don’t say that word– it’s a BAAAD word! and no, i am not making this up.)

but then, i see people like naomi klein and think my GAWD, i’m doing nothing except writing novels; raising children; supporting my local farmers as much as i can; driving a hybrid; blasting the beatles, the clash, and other assorted music from my car; dealing with a house that is just loaded with things to handle; and keeping myself from barking in the streets every time the effing secret service cars come by with dignitaries.

yep. i do a lot for the world. don’t i 🙁

sometimes, i listen to across the universe and contemplate what john lennon meant by the phrase: nothin’s gonna change my world. was he giving up and relinquishing his power in despair? or was he insisting that his personal status quo was some sort of nirvana, and nothing, by G-d, would alter it? i’d like to think that he wrote it in some sort of blissful state, a time when he found some personal peace. i like to cocoon myself from time to time and think how perfect my life is. i’m fed. i’m clothed. i’ve a home. i’ve a wonderful family. and while i have a health condition that requires diligent attention, i have access to high quality health care. nothin’s gonna change my world.

but see, there are so many people who are missing one or more of those things. and then some. so something’s gotta change my world. and it probably ought to be me.

where to start?