after developing the flu, jools developed really awful sleep habits, including the desire to be held – and fed – all night long. after many sleepless nights, BS and i decided to meet with an infant sleep therapist – yes, they do exist – and we have developed The Sleep Plan. right now, little man is screaming his little head off. this is excruciating. i go in and check on him after 5 minutes, then after 10, and 10, and 15, etc… until he is sleeping. essentially, we are trying to get rid of his negative sleep associations, like the need to suck on a bottle to get himself to sleep.

i hate the look on his face everytime i go in to tell him that it’s time to sleep. he is SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY at me, as if to say, mommy, can’t you help me? and i walk out the door. i have to help him learn to soothe himself. i can’t do it for him.

this is killing me.