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building the perfect beast
April 23rd, 2008 by wrekehavoc

kids ask questions. lots of questions. perennial favorites include:

  • where do babies come from?
  • why do i have to go to school?
  • where is jimmy hoffa?

add a new one to the list: why are your boobs bigger/tummy flatter/nose smaller?

lucky for our children, there is a new book by plastic surgeon michael a. salzhauer called my beautiful mommy. this book will explain why mommy has bandages and why, for a little while, can’t pick up her cosmopolitan without help.

what it doesn’t explain: how mommy will have any credibility once her child grows into puberty and doesn’t like what she sees looking back at her in the mirror: well mommy, you changed your [enter body part/s of choice here] in order to look like Barbie; why can’t i?


6 Responses  
  • CuriousC writes:
    April 23rd, 2008 at 8:15 am

    w.o.w. Really? books to explain why mommy is getting plastic surgery? What’s next – books to explain why mommy doesn’t think YOU are perfect as is and just can’t quite love you anyways but really thinks you need a boobjob at 16 so you that you can get into the right sorority at the right college and attract the right man!??!?!

  • wrekehavoc writes:
    April 23rd, 2008 at 8:21 am

    exactly.

  • alejna writes:
    April 23rd, 2008 at 8:45 am

    That book makes me more than a little nauseous.

  • Christina writes:
    April 23rd, 2008 at 11:22 am

    Sorry, I’ll clean that up.

  • Mrs. G. writes:
    April 23rd, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    I believe we are starting to devolve.

  • grandy writes:
    April 24th, 2008 at 1:07 am

    Kill me if my son wants a boob lift…k? Promise me that??

    OH! And you are no longer an AWARD VIRGIN! I have made one and hereby pop that cherry, er, I mean bestow it upon you. Come see what I made for ya and all my bloggin buds.


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