you know, i have noticed that when i lose sleep over a period of, say, two weeks or so, i find i get very sad. and today is a day like that.

we basically spent the weekend in the house except for one excursion to the mall on saturday evening. everyone is sick in one way or another. although, mercifully, BC is feeling fine now. i am the one who feels like crap.

when she walked out of the door today to go to school, i just started crying my eyes out. no matter how exhausted i get, i sometimes wish that BC could always be with me. of course, that is an incredibly selfish thought, and moms are not supposed to have incredibly selfish thoughts. i know how much she misses her little friends at school, and so i know she must go. and then she comes home and tells me that everyone “beats her up” at school. what does that mean? is it one of her little tall tales that she is so fond of propagating? i don't see bruises. or is she just trying to tell me that being a preschooler is so very hard — which i imagine it is. all these little people who are trying out their emerging communication skills on each other and sometimes connecting, sometimes not. and when they don't, they bite, or hit, or say mean things, or cry. i know plenty of grownups who have never gotten past that level, sadly.