as a writer, i am always sucked in tempted thrilled to find opportunities to challenge myself online, especially between the hours of 10 pm and 4 am (barring those nights when people under the age of 10 decide not to sleep due to illness or just plain cos.) for example, there was a time i wrote abstracts because describing articles in 100 words was more fun than delousing my daughter’s hair. (sadly, that opportunity — the abstract writing website — has gone belly-up, at least for now. the lice, mercifully, are still in louse heaven, living on a giant head.)
but now, i’ve discovered smith magazine, a place where you can be challenged to write about anything… in just six words. considering just how verbose i can be (note entire blog output since 2002) about a whole lot of nothing, well, this screamed try me!
so i did.
recently, i tried my hand at the MOMoirs section. you may have guessed that i have a little experience in the MOM department, having been one for nearly 10 years. and of course, i possess all the answers on being a MOM. for example:
Q: mommy, why can’t i see whether jools will eat this [fill in the blank with anything disgusting, inedible, or poisonous]? wouldn’t it be fun?
A: because mommy doesn’t want to make you personally pump jools’ stomach. you don’t know how to do it, as you have not watched that episode of Trauma: Life in the ER yet.
so when i noticed there was actually a contest on this, well, of course i was going to give it a go.
lucky me. i am a winner.
i had to summon all my powers to think of how i could describe this crazy roller-coaster ride called parenthood in six words. all the joy. all the heartache. all the leftovers. it was not easy to convey that in six measly, economic words. but, it suddenly came to me, as if summoned by a dream:
Can I pee in private, please?
anyway, i would love it if you folks would try your hand at this fun exercise in the comments section. i shouldn’t be the one having all the fun.
Relax. Your child is not you.
Poor dog, after baby? Not alpha.
Dog was *not* baby in training.
Babies turn grandparents into silly putty.
ok, so i am lazy and didn’t write any new ones, but i hadn’t read these in a bit.
more importantly, Winner Winner Chicken Dinner?!! That is so cool and of course I heart your entry. You rock!
LOL!! I am laughing at yours too much to think of my own. Brilliant. Congrats.
congrats Wreke! now make it a palindrome!!!!
i’m evil.
heeee! love the attempts. and thanks as always guys for the kind words.
palindrome, huh? it’s 7, not 6 words. but i like it:
Ma is a nun, as I am.
Congratulations, you literary goddess, you!
Hmm, let’s see:
Toddler and tween: very much alike.
Puberty does not necessary herald Armaggedon.
Your sister’s glasses won’t kindle fires.
Not another after-school activity, please!
Congratulations! And what a superb entry. I’ll give it a go . . .
“Because I said so, THAT’S why!” Too obvious.
Mirror, mirror, on my — ACK!! Mom?! Too obscure.
You da (wo)MAN!
Glad you commented; Here I am!
😉
Just stopping by to check out your cool site (after you commented nearly two weeks ago). So, don’t mind me while I have a look around. By the way, I love your entry. A well-deserved win.
Niiiice. Well done!
Congrats, Sher!
Must morning always start at six?
I run around in circles daily.
Cake is not a breakfast food.
I can see why you won, that is brilliant. Congrats! I’m pondering for one but it won’t beat yours!
Congrats! “Mom to dog; does this count?!”