think your job sucks? it could be worse. read this. you could be working at the ASS Discount store — or worse.

“ASS DISCOUNT STORE

Standing by Trolley, scooping up putrefied handfuls of gunk in my stained turquoise tabard, I'd wait as one “mate” after another took their turn to come in and laugh at me bag up the treasures for human consumption. This was the only light relief from the tragic pensioners who would regularly fight me and each other for the choicest items, while doggedly claiming the fruits were “for the birds”. “

with myriad thanks to my favorite hostess from jetslag airways, scally.

you know, i have noticed that when i lose sleep over a period of, say, two weeks or so, i find i get very sad. and today is a day like that.

we basically spent the weekend in the house except for one excursion to the mall on saturday evening. everyone is sick in one way or another. although, mercifully, BC is feeling fine now. i am the one who feels like crap.

when she walked out of the door today to go to school, i just started crying my eyes out. no matter how exhausted i get, i sometimes wish that BC could always be with me. of course, that is an incredibly selfish thought, and moms are not supposed to have incredibly selfish thoughts. i know how much she misses her little friends at school, and so i know she must go. and then she comes home and tells me that everyone “beats her up” at school. what does that mean? is it one of her little tall tales that she is so fond of propagating? i don't see bruises. or is she just trying to tell me that being a preschooler is so very hard — which i imagine it is. all these little people who are trying out their emerging communication skills on each other and sometimes connecting, sometimes not. and when they don't, they bite, or hit, or say mean things, or cry. i know plenty of grownups who have never gotten past that level, sadly.

ok…

after barely eating all day and complaining of a sick tummy, BC threw up at 3 a.m. this morning. ::Check::

after cleaning up said barf, BS awoke this morning and said his stomach was touchy. then, by 10, he was barricaded upstairs in bed, awaiting impending barfaliciousness. ::Check::

BC is finally napping. after hanging out with her all day, my stomach is beginning to feel a little marginal. of course, i never barf!

(of course, we'll see about that…)

is it burning a hole in your pocket?

then buy me stuff.

right here.

if nothing else, you might be surprised at things on my wishlist, LOL 🙂

i am sick today. i have realized that being a sick mom really, really sucks. being sick does not mean that your kid doesn't shriek at you. being sick doesn't mean all tasks magically disappear. it just means you are sick on top of everything else.

wah.

“The WB also hopes to take viewers away from NBC's Must-See Thursday programming with a new version of the 1966-71 CBS favorite “Family Affair,” about three orphans, a bachelor and his English butler. Gary Cole and Tim Curry will now play the roles originated by Brian Keith and Sebastian Cabot, says The Times.”

WHAT??? tim curry as mr. french??? will he be the first sweet transvestite butler?

BC looks into her chocolate pudding tonight. She stirs it around and lumps it on top of itself. All the while, she is murmuring: “it's not Michael Jackson. it's not Michael Jackson.”

BS and i look at each other incredulously. finally, BS says ,”honey, where did you learn about michael jackson?”

“from kareem,” she replies. kareem is her little buddy/boyfriend at school.

this must be investigated.

one night, while BS was putting BC to bed, i was surfing online and went over to RealSimple.com. (do not ask me why.) they have a contest each month, Your Words, where they ask readers to answer a question. not sure what possessed me, but i answered the question: which chores do you delegate, or hire out, and which do you do yourself? i told the tale of how one time, we tried to put in new lighting in the bathroom and ended up ripping out the wall. (uhm…oops.) the *entire* wall. we lost that bathroom for a few weeks. i said we like to think we are do-it-yourselfers, but there are certain tasks where we are willing to hire out to preserve the peace 🙂

apparently, i did a good job with my answer. they sent a photographer over to photograph me in the non-remodelled bathroom. (the wall is, of course, intact now.) i won the august contest and will be featured in the august Real Simple's Your Words column. go figure.

yep. my brush with glamor. first jeopardy!, now a picture of me. in the bathroom. with BC's rubber ducky.

you bet you were me, now, doncha.

as old farts, we listen occasionally to the classic rock station. it isn't pure AOR format that we loved as kids, but it is better than britney spears on the one end and limp bizkit on the other.

we got into our car to run errands, and cream's magnificent cover of the blues classic “crossroads” came on. BC perked up in her carseat and started bopping in time to the music. “mommy,” she said, “this is GREAT skipping music!”

yep. i'm sure that's what slowhand had in mind when he covered it 😉