deus ex mama
and drunk people operating cameras? well, they can be rather sweet, like my beloved pal scally from across the proverbial pond.
what you might not know is that wavey davey is actually from scotland (motto: “if it's not scottish, it's crrrrrap!”); and underneath that lovely t-top, he is wearing a kilt.
(good thing he lives in another country or he would likely come over here and kick me in my american ass for this 😉
madonna stole the whole riff and nuance of “beautiful stranger” from love's “she comes in colors.” and it pisses me off.
maybe it is time to stop cooking. methinks i have spent too much time near the oven.
it's a right good thing that novacaine doesn't affect my typing abilities (which were crappy to begin with, i suppose.) i am mercury-free now, thanks to good old dr. brown, my friendly neighborhood capitalistic dentist. (wish the tuna in the ocean could say the same.) dr. brown does not believe in HMOs (he used to distribute anti-HMO bumper stickers, free-of-charge. i am not making this up.) nevertheless, after years of trying all sorts of awful northern VA HMO dentists, many of whom who saw my mouth as bonanza-ville since i had relatively few cavities (thanks to my wonderfully-conservative dentist back in Toms River), i went to dr. brown. wonder of wonders, he did a good job. after all this time, i realize that there are many things i can skimp on. teeth are not one of those things, as eating has become a somewhat important activity in my life.
i have been seeing dr. brown now for, oh, i dunno, about 7 years. he used to be in my neighborhood; but now, since i've moved, he is literally in the south-easternmost part of the county, and i am in the north-easternmost part of the county. still, its worth the trip.
so now i am numb since the good dr. removed the rest of my silver fillings and replaced them (with folgers coffee, no doubt.) dr. has been working on his MBA for a few years; and in two months, he graduates. he is interested i think in franchising dentist shops i suppose. i hope this doesn't mean he won't be around to fix my teeth. nevertheless, time marches on. so does his office. for the past few years, they have been baking otis spunkmeyer cookies in his office to make it smell more like a bakery and less like a dentist's office. so today, on my way out, i told the good dr., “eh, you give me cookies so you get my repeat business on cavities, dontcha.” he laughed. “but you should know,” i added, “that i read some journal article on how some dentists are now doing spa treatments in their offices — paraffin wax for the hands, etc. when are you going to keep up with the times, dr. brown?”
he answered: “we have it. would you like some paraffin?”
well, dip me in shit and call me stinky. i was shocked. so next thing you know it, i've got paraffin on my hands, mitts on my paraffin, feet on a foot massager, and a cup of mango chamomile tea in my hands that i struggled to drink since half of my mouth was still numb. don't get me wrong. i haven't forgotten that i just dished out $700 for mercury-removal on 4 or 5 cavities. still, my mouth looks nicer. i just wonder what the hell has been festering in those gaping holes in my teeth for, oh, 20-25 years. nasty to think about it. and now you undoubtedly will. (probably mostly chocolate, anyway.)
but the saddest point: i cannot find Celestial Seasonings mango chamomile tea anywhere. not even listed on the CS site. waah! if anyone can find it anywhere, please give me a shout. better yet, ship it to me as your good deed of the day 😉
ok, so after doing an informal mental food diary over the past few months, it appears to me that i have a peanut allergy. fortunately, it is not one of those allergies like those sad little kiddies who go into anaphalectic shock when they even get a whiff of peanuts; maybe it is more of an intolerance. i don't know. but i do know that any time i have anything peanut related, i get sick later.
now, you have no idea how serious this is. i am a person whose favorite snack since the age of 9 has been a spoon and a jar of skippy. my favorite sundae at friendly's? the reese's peanut butter cup — not those lame-ass reese's pieces, mind you, but the gooey, chocolate and peanut concoction. all gone. gone, gone gone. but so many processed foods also have peanut in them. or peanut oil. or some other peanut by-product. on the one hand, i am delighted that i am figuring this out so that i can help myself feel better. on the other hand, i am so very sad that my favorite treat has to go bye-bye.
it could be worse. i could find out that i can't have chocolate any more. ::sigh::
ok. my #@$@#$% AOL 6.0 client has just officially crashed. BS will not let me attempt to load 7.0 because it will “fuck up the network.” BS is not willing to let me see if i can find a copy of 6.0, because the last time i loaded it, it “fucked up the network.” so now i hope he has an old 5.0 disk lying about. i am a slave to the client. i know, i know. i can browse with my browser. i can IM and have a buddy list with AIM (and i used to work on that product, so you would think i would want to support it. but my hard drive is nearly full, and i can't seem to pare anything else off this puppy. argh.)
anyone got an old 6.0 disk lying about?
::sigh:: i used to be able to get those things without even trying.
so i usually pride myself on being relatively sane. but this morning, after a trip to home despot with BS and BC, i was a little cranked. we were getting ready to leave the orange-hued plaza of no return. BC was sitting in her car seat while she wore one of those mr. wizard “gee-i-wonder-what-happens-when-you-squeeze-the-juice-box” faces. and before you could scream “Xanax, please!” she did it. squish! right all over her new shirt.
most of the time, i am pretty cool about these things…but not today. i barked her name, got out of my seat, and went in the back to clean her up. i had no idea that someone was standing behind me, i was that focused (and annoyed.) BS says, “c'mon, don't wipe her up, there's someone waiting for the spot.” so, being the polite and sweet jersey girl that i am, i literally say “well they can “f” off and wait(yes, i literally said “f” – not the full word).” i had no idea that there was someone literally behind me and that BS meant that there was a person trying to get through.
i got into my seat, and there was BS, looking incredulously at me. “what, what?” i asked. i saw someone scurry behind me and get into the car beside us.
“you know, that person was right behind you.”
“oh, you meant someone was BEHIND me waiting to get in?”
“yes. and you just told her to “F” off.”
“oh. well, sorry, i did not know that.”
so classy me. setting a good example for all the world to see.
i think i have hit upon a truism. i can get the same shitty haircut for $17 that i can get for $50. and be less unhappy about it merely because i paid less for it. no matter where i go, everyone wants to give me the G-ddamned football head haircut. i bring in pictures, i talk with stylists, and still: football head hair.
at least i can pay less for it now.