Author: wrekehavoc

at the playground

at the playground

Posted on by wrekehavoc

we took a jaunt to a new playground this evening, BC, jools, BS, and BC’s pal, Alison. the kids all started to create a restaurant with some sandy mud and various sticks and acorns. so jools comes toddling over with a bucket first, filled with sand, and announces, “do you want some hamburgers and creme brulee?”

BS and i didn’t know he had ever heard of creme brulee. the fanciest we get is vanilla pudding.

a few minutes later, Alison comes over to collect some more sand near us. another mom is neaby with her little one, who is looking on wistfully, waiting to join in the restaurant biz. “what are you making?” i ask Al.

“Julian says he wants us to bring him a six-pack next.” jools learned this term from the adventures of zak and cody, where the heroes ask for a six-pack of soda. but it’s too long to explain that.

the other mother looks at us. we shrug. we wait for her to pick up her cell and call the authorities. fortunately, she just takes her son and walks over to the kids.

for anyone concerned, my kids seldom drink soda. and that’s about the hardest stuff they’ll get around here.

yee fucking haw

yee fucking haw

Posted on by wrekehavoc

tonight, BS is doing something above and beyond the call of duty: he is escorting BC to a Brownies HoeDown. i believe the fete includes:

bobbing for apples, doughnuts on a string, dancing, and more! get your dancing shoes on!

just what my guy loves to do on a chilly saturday night in november. but he’s a good sport, and he is also someone who apparently, in a fit of g-d-knows-what, was a 4-h square dancer as a kid. (this little fact has provided hours of amusement in 16+ years of marriage.) so he’ll allemande left and allemande right and teach BC the proper way to square dance.

meanwhile, back at the ranch, jools is actually jealous of his big sister. so i’ve borrowed that 1960s classic, the love bug from our library. we’ll pop popcorn, and i’ll experience all the buddy hackett i’ll need to experience for the next decade.

if only i were one of those incredibly creative moms who could think of more educational pursuits. we could make little turkeys out of wax paper and toenail clippers, or something like that. but no. we’ll watch an ancient video instead.

on the bright side, it ain’t the one with lindsay lohan in it.

we're gonna turn this mother out

we're gonna turn this mother out

Posted on by wrekehavoc

after school. BC has plugged herself into the Disney Channel, where aged Sister, Sister episodes are playing back to back. jools and i retire to his room, where his latest activity seems to be discovering that his boom box can do things besides play CDs. it can play tapes, too. AND, it has a radio.

so first we’re dancing around to a CD i found at the library, one of the putomayo things for kids. he is unimpressed. “this isn’t good for jumping on the bed,” i believe, is his criterion. we try another CD, this one an Ella Jenkins special. no dice.

so we turn on the radio. we flip it around. and we come upon our friends in Parliament singing Give Up The Funk “what did he say?” jools asked.

“he asked us to ‘turn this mother out'” i reply with a straight face. (for those keeping track, this is reason # 1,345 why i am a bad mother.)

“is this good jumping music, mama?” he asks.

“the best!” i say, jumping along with him and pretending i’m a soul train dancer.

and then again…

and then again…

Posted on by wrekehavoc

so i’m frustrated.

i’m frustrated about my health (which seems to be a never-ending story of angst).

i’m frustrated because my friendly son cannot seem to make any friends in his class AND the teacher is pretty unaccessible. you can’t talk to her before class. you can’t talk to her after class. today, i merely was about to ask her when it would be a good time to talk to her; she stopped me before i finished my sentence and said, “please, e-mail me. i can’t focus on anything else right now.” it’s hard enough when kindergarten is a black-box experience at public school; but a black-box experience for my three-year-old is completely unacceptable. this has got to change. and if i can’t get any support from the school, then perhaps i need to rethink this whole thing.

i’m frustrated because we uncovered a zillion of these flying ant things downstairs crawling around the deck. i called the exterminator, and she indicated that they are likely not termites (thank G-D) but some sort of ant that begins with “C” that i cannot somehow remember, even though i heard about this 10 minutes ago.

i’m frustrated because BC, her friend (an absolutely delightful little chick who i adore), and jools were so terrified of said bugs that they ignored both open back doors and ran to the front, which was locked. i couldn’t find them; then i had to go all the way back around to get in and let them in. and when i got there, jools had pooped in his pants.

so will somebody please tell me what horrific thing i did in my life to earn all of these things and more?

okay, okay. you can stop fucking with me now.

okay, okay. you can stop fucking with me now.

Posted on by wrekehavoc

you know, it’s bad enough i am dealing with ITP and a possible diagnosis of common variable immunodeficiency. but now, this?

yesterday, i got the little sheet i always get from my annual mammogram. you know, the sheet that tells you that all is well and see-ya-in-a-year? well, mine didn’t say that yesterday. mine says that they need to take more pictures of my boobs. they don’t say why. and now, thanks to my persistence, at least i can get in next week, though i have to hike out to sterling to get that done.

and no one in the office can tell me why. is it because they messed up somehow? is it because something is wrong? nope. sorry. can’t tell you anything until you are here. shit. if they’d let me, i would ride my ass out to their office just so someone could tell me in person what’s wrong. but no, that’s not an option.

my mother has lost both breasts to breast cancer. that is why this is something that sends off red flags, and rockets, and neutron bombs in my head. this is the stuff that psychosis is made of.

so today, as i received my pneumovax innoculation from my doctor, i asked him: “what the hell is wrong with me? why does all this shit happen to me? did i do something bad in another life?” he could only sympathize and put a bandaid on my shot site.

i’m just so tired.

lord save me from smart children

lord save me from smart children

Posted on by wrekehavoc

…so before she falls asleep tonight, BC smells my breath. “mama,” she asks, “what did you just eat?”

“i ate an M&M.” mea culpa.

“i want an M&M now!” she protested, sounding a mite too close to veruca salt for comfort.

“you’ll be getting boatloads of candy tomorrow, don’t worry about it,” i countered. “i won’t get any from trick-or-treating.” gotcha there, sistah.

“yeah, but you’ll be taking candy from me afterwards.”

::doh::

she continued. “you know, mama, you’ve been taking my candy for seven years now. why don’t you leave mine alone and take from julian this year?”

damn. she actually noticed. this child of mine, who doesn’t notice that she’s wearing stripes with polkadots, who wouldn’t notice if an alien dropped from the sky whistling “dixie”, yeah, she notices anything to do with sweets.

lesson learned: mess with my chocolate and die.

michael j. fox

michael j. fox

Posted on by wrekehavoc

i just took a gander at the political ad for ben cardin done by michael j. fox. i started to weep. why?

1) watching michael j. fox is like watching an old friend i grew up with. we’re not that far apart, age-wise. and alex p. keaton was a staple for me in the 1980s. even though i disapproved of the character’s political stances, i grew to care deeply for the character over time. so to see him shake and bob courtesy of parkinson’s is excruciating. i wish i could do more beyond donating money.

2) rush limbaugh, fuckwit extraordinaire, has outdone himself. he’s not just an expert on oxycontin; apparently, he has a parkinson’s faking detector implanted in his brain (however tiny it is). i can’t even imagine how horrific this must be to all people who are struggling with parkinsons as well as their family and friends. the things people will do for notoriety. he never got over the realization that alex p. keaton was fictional, i guess.

3) i often marvel at how the same people who are terrified of “killing babies” through abortion and other means (such as, apparently, stem cell research) are the same people who: a) are pro-death-penalty, and b) basically don’t give a shit about those babies once they are born. shit, put your money where you mouths are, people. if you want these “babies” to make it to birth, then you adopt each and every one of them, support them financially, and nurture them.

sorry. i am really just shaken up by this.

apple challah season

apple challah season

Posted on by wrekehavoc

when the going gets tough, the tough…bake. and tonight, i have outdone myself. i have baked an apple-filled challah that kicks serious tuchas.

whenever we go to club med, i could care less about the food. french night? feh. seafood night? does nothing for me. but what is the big payoff for me? the bread. the people who bake the bread there are people to be worshipped. every morning, there is fresh bread — challah stuffed with chocolate (i opt for dark – there’s also white, but why waste your time with white chocolate when life is short?), bread stuffed with bananas, lovely whole wheat, bread with cheese in it, croissants, etc. i don’t really need to eat anything else at breakfast — give me a nice hunk of bread and a cup of tea and i am thrilled beyond belief.

i’ve always vowed to bake something as good. it has taken me awhile to get it right. but tonight, i have mastered the challah that has some fresh apple filling (made from a few of the 45 pounds of apples we picked last weekend out in purcellville) i made.

tomorrow may not be a stellar diet day 😉

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