BS (beloved spouse) – Page 12

Category: BS (beloved spouse)

oscopies, oscopies: who's got the oscopies?

Posted on September 21, 2007 by wrekehavoc

hope you enjoyed yesterday’s science projects 🙂

as far as yesterday’s oscopies are concerned: the prep was awful (per usual). i was frightened (per usual). the anesthesiologist couldn’t get me hooked up on my right side because my veins are apparently too tiny and uncooperative (not to mention i’m sure i was dehydrated), but he hooked me up just great on my left arm (though it’s in my wrist, so i now have a bandage around my wrist which, once again, makes me look like i tried to end it all by slitting my wrist). i never saw my doctor afterwards (apparently, he was knee deep in someone’s ass), though the little paper said that my colonoscopy was fine and that he removed a polyp from my stomach. i don’t know what to make of the polyp thing; it could be a big nothing. i just don’t know since this is all really a new body part thing for me. he also sent some stuff from my stomach out for study since there are certain bacteria that present that could be a precursor for stomach cancer, apparently. but i woke up beautifully and quickly (i metabolize very quickly) and ate a zillion graham crackers and cranberry juice. the nurses couldn’t have been nicer (although someone put me down originally for just a colonoscopy, not that AND an endoscopy) and they nearly forgot to get blood from me in the a.m.) but it’s done. for now.

and BS was a champ 🙂 he shuttled children all over the tri-state area AND dealt with a pretty tired wife. i looked at him last night and quoted from an old paul mccartney ditty that i love :

you gave me the answer to love eternally.

i love you, and you, you seem to like me.

okay. he probably does a bit more than like me in spite of the fact that i’m a major pain in the patoot 😉 so today, after many tears, i was able to get tickets for him (and me!) to see bruce springsteen. we’re sitting up with G-d, but who cares. we’re going. the damn things sold out in 4 minutes, and i was typing as fast as my little fingers could type. in the first minute, all i could get were nosebleeds. something’s just not right about that, as if all the good seats were already sold to someone somewhere.

but i’ve got too much to do to investigate that little annoyance. we’re going. i’m eating solid food. the kids are relatively happy. all’s right with the world.

this minute.

people on 'ludes should not drive

Posted on September 19, 2007 by wrekehavoc

…and people who are on a 24-hour liquid diet pre-general anesthesia should not go food shopping. which i did, ‘cos i’m the most super brilliant mom alive. i walked in for bananas and walked out with $100 worth of groceries, very little of which i can eat today except for:

peach jello
peach jello
chicken soup (clear, nothing in it)
coffee
pineapple jello
orange jello; and
popsicles.

now, this regimen, sans the soup and coffee (in which i can’t put milk today, so why bother?), might seem like nirvana to BC. but the natural fact here is that i cannot eat anything red. no red popsicles. no red jello. no red nuthin’ (unless i want my gastroenterologist to die of fright thinking i’m hemorrhaging inside.) this, of course, causes a problem because red is my favorite flavor. (i’m pretty indiscriminate when it comes to red. i don’t really care if it means cherry, strawberry, raspberry, razzleberry… ha! caught you there. 😉

fortunately, it appears that my friends at jello have branched out a little and added peach and pineapple to their non-red jello repertoire. thank G-d, too, because the only way i’m having green or lemon jello is if someone makes them into shooters. you should know that i don’t really like jello all that much, but today, it is officially dubbed food of the gods!

on the bright side, my fingernails will grow strong.

now, because i am extra brilliant, i failed to consult the calendar back in may when i made this appointment. and guess what else is tonight? yup. Back to School Night. back to school night falls squarely in my domain; while BS is an involved and caring dad, i know probably leaps and bounds more about BC’s daily existence than he does. but i have a feeling that i will be feeling about as pleasant as old garbage tonight. so i will stay home with both kids (yay! fighting over the toilet with jools will be something to look forward to!) while BS goes through the hallowed halls of a school he has not yet entered. i think. (honey: make a right when you walk in the front door and just keep walking until the school ends. that’s her classroom.) it’s probably a good thing, i’m sure. he’ll meet BC’s teacher (who i see every morning when i’m dragged down the hall), see the locker she never uses, and enjoy the fact that there are no reports of girlfriend tearing the place down.

that, my friend, will not happen until the day jools enters school.

don’t worry. i’ll be sure to schedule something a little more lasting for that day. like a medically-induced coma.

i can't cook

Posted on September 14, 2007 by wrekehavoc

one day, my family is going to buy me a t-shirt. on this t-shirt, i will be quoted with something i say often after attempting to cook a healthy, somewhat interesting meal:

there is nothing more rewarding than cooking for a family.

BC will tell anyone within striking distance that her mommy can bake pretty well (no one can beat my brownies, i tell ya!), but her mommy cannot cook. period. and she isn’t too far off. see, if i had my druthers, i would be trying all sorts of vegetarian fare every single night. this is problematic: BS is an affirmed carnivore, BC hates most things that aren’t full of salt or sugar, and jools? well, he’s the kid who lost weight at his well-baby visit last time, remember?

last night’s rosh hashana dinner pretty much proved the point.

*i roasted a chicken — not too hard, and nobody fell ill with salmonella.

*i made matzo ball soup, which the kids liked even though some of the matzo balls fell apart in the soup (BS wouldn’t touch it), looking like something nasty. (i’ll refrain from the rest of my description as a public service.) taste 6, looks, -12.

*i made a cauliflower concoction in the slow cooker that no one, not even i liked — and now i have a major slow cooker mess AND the house smells like bad gas.

*i made jewish apple cake, which wasn’t my best effort — the kids turned up their noses because it wasn’t too sweet.

*and i bought challah, which was stupidstupidSTUPID — that’s the one element of the meal i can ACTUALLY MAKE WELL. but see, the folks from great harvest were nice enough to come on sunday to shul and show all the hebrew school kids how to make challah. and after they brought all that dough for us to bake and eat, it only seemed fair to buy some challah from them to show them some love.

when the matzah ball soup began to fail, i threw some rice into the oven to bake. (joy of cooking has a wonderful baked rice recipe that results in almost foolproof rice.) i know, i know. not exactly traditional ashkenazi holiday jew food. of course, when i took the rice out of the oven, i burnt my wrist, right in the wrist-slitting position. VERY attractive. (note to BS: i need a really nice bracelet now to conceal this scar. in case you’re wondering.)

so mom, if you’re reading this, i didn’t try to off myself after realizing that i am the world’s worst cook. i just need to realize what you realized long ago. sometimes, the best thing you can make for dinner are reservations.

broooooooooooooooce!

Posted on September 9, 2007 by wrekehavoc

jersey girl alert: bruce is coming to town (if you say bruce who, well, i might just smack ya upside da head) with a new album to push (radio nowhere is the first release). so yeah, he looks a little like a rahway resident on the cover. so what?

i always *heart* the albums with the E Street Band the best (even if patti scialfa’s voice grates on my nerves. don’t get me wrong; i’m glad he ended up with a jersey girl instead of julianne whats-her-name.) i wondered about fans who attended his last tour and were annoyed by the whole jug-band thing. i mean, what the hell — did they think he was going to belt out born to run on a tuba?

want a fun little tour of BS’s hometown, which also happens to be the Boss’s hometown? tee hee, i remember holding the camera for some of the shots. course, the place has changed a LOT since a decade’s gone by…

but i digress. i’m just hoping i don’t have to cut into the kids’ college funds for tickets this time. if only the newsweek link was still live recounting the tale of BS competing, unknowingly, with one of his sisters, for a VH1 charity package of backstage passes and front-row seats. this sort of thing only happens to us.

yep. we’re revisiting a portion of our youth today. it’s kind of fun to revisit youth with a little more money. although frankly, given the choice, i think i’d still take the youth.

all i want is everything

Posted on September 7, 2007 by wrekehavoc

with sincerest apologies to southside johnny and the asbury jukes…

i feel good today. r e a l l y good. don’t know how long the feeling will last, and nevermind the fact that i have to go get a CT scan of my chest and an U/S of my abdomen. (bahaha. i want a doctor to take your picture so i can look at you from inside as well.) i. feel. good. (dagnabit.) when i feel good, i feel like i can think about the future. cos when i feel good, i feel like i’ll be around a loooooong time into the future.

so, i was mentally cataloging things this morning while waiting in the hematologist’s office (platelets=190~ IVIG is my friend!). things i want.

1) eight consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep.

2) well-adjusted kids who seem relatively happy doing what they’re doing.

3) a rest for my BS who could definitely do with one.

4) plenty of time to play.

5) plenty of time to write.

6) plenty of time.

7) an opportunity to see family and friends who i don’t get to see all that often.

8) an opportunity to apologize to people i was horrid to when i was a teen (i have been reading my journals from high school, and there are a few people i inadvertantly messed about a little. not intentionally, of course — i was a mixed-up kid, just like the next one. i just didn’t see the view from 40,000 feet like i do now.)

9) time to be what i always wanted to be as a grownup.

10) repeat.

i feel good. so i sort of have everything. already.

trainwreck day

Posted on September 2, 2007 by wrekehavoc

i really loathe long weekends. i know; i should look forward to time spent with family or friends. but somehow, it never ever works out the way i would have liked.

take today.

today actually starts as last night. see, on the same weekend before BC starts at a new school [READ: stressful, teary nights ahead], i also decided to start night training jools (who will hate me for writing about this one day.) last night, BC fought bedtime due to fears; jools had nightmares from 1-2 a.m.; BC had nightmares from 2-3 a.m.; jools started right back up at 3 until i don’t know. and then, he awoke for good at 6:15.

when people are tired, they respond to exhaustion differently. me, i get weepy and sick. others might get angry or psychotic. but it’s hard for me to fathom why the day just kept getting worse and worser, so to speak.

my usually brave and intensely independent jools is currently terrified of his own shadow. apparently, his nightmares involved “knights, scarlet knights, (something else) knights.” he refuses to go into detail beyond that. [maybe it has to do with all the Rutgers paraphenalia that BS and i, both alums, have. i dunno.] he doesn’t want to sleep alone; he doesn’t want to visit the bathroom alone; he doesn’t even want to go to his room alone. i tried to show him some funny knights, but nothin’s doin’. is it because of the nighttime potty training? or something else?

meanwhile, back at the neurosis ranch, BC is freaked out about, well, basically everything. bullies. mean people. hell, give her some time and she’ll be freaking over knights, too, i guess. she won’t sleep.

and BS is way overtired, too.

i took the kids out this afternoon to the pool so that BS could attempt a nap. we returned, and the world seemed calmer. then, while getting groceries at harris-teeter, something happened while i was at the meat counter. BS and the kids were going after a smaller kids cart for the kids to push. i saw BC walking with a kids cart but with no one else. she had lost BS. so we went to the front of the store, where i saw BS, who mouthed at me: “where’s julian?”

my heart fell into my feet.

teary and bleary, i grabbed BC and we walked in the fruit and veg section, parallel to BS, who was walking over to the area by the carts at the front door. then, when we walked back, i saw BS with a dazed-looking jools. long story short, jools decided he wanted out and started for the door. on his own. at least he was safe and sound.

so we’ve had dinner and baths and books. jools wanted someone to sleep with him (which won’t happen), then promptly crashed. meanwhile, BC is still up and asking me to stay up until she falls asleep. ironically, i think i’m the person with the least amount of sleep in this house, and i’m too upset to sleep.

pleasepleaseplease be a better day tomorrow.

please.

vacation. all i ever wanted.

Posted on August 30, 2007 by wrekehavoc

we went on a magical mystery tour of sorts over the past week. i’ve got a ton to say about a lot of things, but i suspect it will come over a few days, as i also planned brilliantly and have an IVIG treatment today. yep, i’ve been home a grand total of 14 hours, and i’m off to fun and frolic all over again. if you can call being hooked up to an IV for 5 hours fun and frolic. yippee.

but some of the places we went, in no particular order:

fire museum of maryland;

please touch museum (with apologies to my dear roommate from college — we didn’t quite get it together to go together for lots of reasons. major bummer.);

hersheypark, including the new Boardwalk waterpark, which was a lesson in how not to be prepared for consumer demand;

a visit to allaire state park and a ride on the train (and a personal lesson about switching tracks);

a lakewood blueclaws game;

a visit to atlantic city (where the kids accidentally walked through caesars’ casinos and we were escorted out — but all we wanted to do was go and get some taffy and take the kids to yet another rainforest cafe);

a stay in wildwood crest at a kitschy 1950s-era hotel, and;

a ride home on the cape may ferry.

and i wonder why i’m tired.

she's my pride and joy

Posted on August 20, 2007 by wrekehavoc

BC entered a poem she wrote last year in 2nd grade English class in the county fair. she re-typed it (her teacher had typed up the original after she had written it, and everything had to be done by the kid, so i made her do it.) and even though our printer was on the fritz and printed the poem in lavender ink rather than black, in it went. BC didn’t think the lavender ink was a problem. my kid writes purple prose, bahahaha. (english major joke there.)

nevermind the fact that in the poem, she talks about how i’m getting ready to go to a party. like i’ve been to a party recently? one that doesn’t involve a guest of honor below the age of 10? so thanks to her poem, the greater metro area thinks i put on makeup and go out evenings, leaving my poor beleaguered spouse to fend for himself with the kids. as if.

but anyway, i’m absolutely tickled. the chick won 2nd prize — a red ribbon — for her poem. i tried to take her picture with it — five times– and she blinked. in every single photo.

yep. that’s my girl 🙂

hi, my name is sisyphus

Posted on August 13, 2007 by wrekehavoc

i have this problem, you see. it’s not as critical as world peace, or hunger, or the state of the planet. i recognize that. but it is something that bothers me, all the same.

let me tell you about today, for example.

today, after waking, getting hellboy dressed and fed and ready for school, i got BC showered (well, she does it herself, but i’m the prodder), fed, lunch made, and carted off to gymnastics. then, i ended up at three different supermarkets. HUH, you ask? well, giant didn’t have meat or chicken that we needed, nor did it have the particular bread that BS wanted (nothing exotic, but they were out of it). i stopped then into whole foods, which had lovely meat and poultry, but still not the bread. so, off to safeway for aforementioned bread.

after putting away the groceries, i literally peeled and chopped five pounds of carrots. (i bought the 5 pound organic bag instead of the two pounder. oops.) i put the whole chicken into the oven (after preparing it, of course), followed by some carrots; i made some really wonderful carrotty-chocolate cupcakes (which sound gross but which are actually really yummy), and a really, truly vile sweet carrot salad (make only if you require a homemade emetic). oh, and i washed and cut two pounds of strawberries, too.

then, i did dishes and proceeded to pick up.

[i’ve provided a musical interlude here. otherwise, you’d be bored if i described picking things up. this seems appropriate. although i’ll also include this one, just cos i like it.]

after all of this, i was left with 45 minutes to work on my novel. which i did. but then, i had to pick up BC.

long story short, the chicken wasn’t cooked enough, the carrot salad was, as mentioned before, nasty, and i ended up scrambling eggs for the kids and eating a bowl of cereal. kid bathed; kids read to; kids in bed. there are dishes everywhere, and i feel like whatever i did today meant a whole lot of nothing.

i push the rock up the hill. and down it comes.

don’t get me wrong. i am lucky as hell that i can do this. i kiss the ground that i can do this. but there are some days when, well, i wish i were doing more for the world. like all that education and all that oomph are sort of hiding themselves under a bushel. i want to be involved in my kids’ lives, but i fear that i will start to get over-involved because i lack much of a life of my own. and there’s not much worse than an over-involved mom.

so what to do?

i guess hope the rock doesn’t crash down on my head, for starters.

endeavoring to believe

Posted on August 8, 2007 by wrekehavoc

we were eating at a restaurant/bar tonight when we saw that the space shuttle endeavor was going to launch at 6:36 p.m. we rushed home so that we could all watch it together. i was very nervous about this. i remember one afternoon in 1986 when my dorm-mates and i had our soap operas interrupted because of a space shuttle launching. and before our eyes, we watched the shuttle explode into a billion fiery pieces. we were all stunned. it was live. on TV.

nothing had ever happened like this to our generation before. previous generations had the question: where were you when Kennedy was shot? and now my generation had: where were you when the Challenger blew up?

college being college, i remember the fresh wave of sick jokes that followed. the only one i recall:

Q: where does christa mcaulife vacation?

A: all over florida.

(i know. no one deserves that.)

i was very nervous about having the kids watch the shuttle launch. nevermind how many successful space launches there have been in my lifetime; i was fixated on the one i saw that didn’t make it. of course, the newscaster was fixated on the teacher in space, who has been waiting patiently for over 20 years for this chance. it made me tear up.

“mama,” BC said, noticing me on the verge of tears, “don’t worry. they’re showing this on TV. they wouldn’t film it if something bad was going to happen.”

if only.

i’m delighted to report, though, that the shuttle launched without a hitch. my kids got to watch a little piece of history.

and somewhere inside of me, a tiny shred of sanity and wonder was restored.