i start my new job on the 17th. the job looks challenging. i’ll work four days/week – which is considered part time, believe it or not. today i was out shopping, as i do not own work clothes that actually fit me; and i saw a thousand chubby-cheeked babies shopping with their mamas. all i could think was – am i making a colossal error by going back to work? i was missing drooly jools terribly. he of the squash-messed face. (he ate his first non-cereal food last night – squash – and he loved it.)

i am actually enjoying jools’ babyhood a whole lot more than i enjoyed BC’s. true, jools is a poor weight gainer and has reflux to beat the band. and he is going for that MRI next week to boot. but i am so much more relaxed about all of this trauma. you see, i have seen this movie already, and i know how it ends.

it ends with a skinny but very healthy and delightful child.

with BC, i was so stressed that i ended up with shingles. it was horrible – my doctor says it was the second worse case he has seen in his career. i really didn’t start enjoying her i think until nearly her 2nd year. it is a pity, too – she is such a delight, and it makes me sad to think that i will probably not look very fondly upon her first year on earth. so i have been working to make up for it ever since.

in other news, nothing fits. i have developed a new appreciation for lycra/spandex. whoever invented it should be knighted.

i don’t know why i bother to put in an entry for mood. you can safely assume when someone is living with a five month old baby that the mood is perpetually sleepy. in fact, if i had my choice at this moment between a wild night of passion or a night of complete sedation, i would not hesitate to choose the latter.

and i know one day i will look back on these days wistfully 😉

between BC, who left hebrew school the other day singing “FIVE GOLDEN RINGS! Four calling birds, three french hens, etc.” at the top of her lungs, and jools, who needs an mri because he has a vascular ring around his esophagus which may merely be an interesting abnormality or may be something that will make him choke on his food, i would truly appreciate a little sedation.

i start work in two weeks. i negotiated four days/week. can you believe that is considered part time? heh. clearly someone single and childless considers it that.

blahblahblah. my brain is so amorphous, congealed, so downright mushy. i sure do miss my brain. of course, a few weeks ago, BS and i were arguing. he felt he needed more sleep because he “actually uses his brain during the day,” whereas i merely ran after our little baby. so i would like to outline ways in which i use my brain, for those who are still involved in my blathering.

1) care for infant (including not diapering child on head, not poisoning child with overdose of zantac, feeding the poor weight gainer at every chance in every creative way possible);

2) errands (including how to maximize errand time with an infant who hates driving in the car and SHRIEKS when the car stops at red lights);

3) housework (those dishes and clothes do not jump up and do themselves);

4) developmentally appropriate activities for infant (including songs, books, and just some fun rolling around on the floor, cos that’s what we do).

5) occasional work for day care center board (i surely have not pulled my weight on this over the past few months and i am quite surprised that no one has kicked me off, despite how i beg them to 😉

6) occasional bouts with two children while spouse is either working or at school. yep. juggling a 4.5 year old girl and a 5 month old boy is a cakewalk.

ok, so maybe i don’t have to solve all of the world’s problems each day. but for sheer endurance, no one matches me.

not at this point, anyway.