Category: jools (also a beloved child)
the man
here he is. i am tired. but happy.
julian's first mix CD
well, i did it.
i made little boy’s first CD. it doesn’t have anything outlandish on it because i am hoping it will be a fairly relaxing musical experience. however, i am totally open to other people’s thoughts on other CDs. i just don’t feel like blasting Barney or the Wiggles or any of that stuff yet. when he is older, there will be plenty of time for that dross.
and of course, you cannot have music in this house without some bruce and without any members of the beatles. it simply isn’t done.
the lineup.
strawberry fields forever – a really lovely cover by peter gabriel
solsbury hill – peter gabriel
mary had a little lamb – paul mccartney and wings
as – stevie wonder (i wrote the entire lyrics out on a card for BC’s first birthday. when i hear this song, i think of my children. always.)
NY state of mind (live) – billy joel (if only they had a jersey state of mind. but heck, i included 2 sentimental BROOOOOOCE faves later on. that’s about as close as i will get, i suppose. but somehow, this song reminds me of home as well.)
i believe in love – dixie chicks (i really loathe the dixie chicks, but this song, off the World Trade Center benefit CD, is a very gentle and lovely little song. and the chicks did rise a little in my esteem as soon as they bashed Bush, so phhht.)
imagine – john lennon
beautiful boy – john lennon (because he, of course, is my beautiful boy 🙂
pink moon – nick drake (so his sister can sing to him.)
can’t find my way home – blind faith
i want love – elton john
the water is wide – james taylor
josie – steely dan (picked this because he is named after my aunt josie 🙂
sweet jane – cowboy junkies (he has been listening to this in utero for months, so he should have something familiar 😉
daisy jane– america
harmony – elton john (one of my all-time favorite songs. ever.)
meeting across the river (live) – bruce springsteen
if i should fall behind (live) – bruce springsteen (the only song BS ever put on and subsequently cried to. it was beautiful. really.)
evidence of autumn – genesis
baby mix
which also reminds me…
i want to make a baby mix on CD that i can tolerate. first CD should be quiet songs that julian can snooze to (but that mom and dad can tolerate without wanting to vomit.) some candidates at the moment:
“beautiful boy” – john lennon (although this one also makes me cry when i think of lennon singing about how he can hardly wait to see sean come of age)
“imagine” – john lennon
“mary had a little lamb” – paul mccartney
“love’s in need of love today” – stevie wonder
“pink moon” – nick drake
“sweet jane” – cowboy junkies’ version
“weather with you” – crowded house
“can’t find my way home” – blind faith
any other bright ideas? i don’t want to replicate the tape (may it rest in pieces) i made for BC when she was born. i won’t even mention too many of those songs so that anyone out there who wasn’t tortured listening to it can give me some fresh, mellow ideas for babyland zzzz music. all genres welcome (although i don’t forsee too many rap/chem candidates out there, to be honest.)
happy mother's day
i think it hit me at lunchtime today.
BS walked over with three mother’s day cards this year. if i had been a cartoon character, you would have heard me exclaim, “DOING!” or something equally brilliant. but it hit me, and i said, “three cards, huh?…pause… THREE CARDS!”
one card was from BS. one card was from BC (and she wrote her name all by herself, which is just wonderful 🙂 and one card is from julian. BC helped.
i started to cry when i read the cards. BC looked at me puzzled. “remember, honey, how i told you that sometimes, when grownups are really happy, they cry?”
“yes, mama.”
“well, i am so very happy, and i am crying. i am not sad. trust me, when you are a grownup, you will understand this better.”
“let me go and get you tissues to dry your eyes, mama.” and she ran off to her room and brought back probably the only box of tissues left in the house. and she started dabbing my eyes.
i received three cards this year. three wonderful cards. because there is another person who has helped me to qualify to celebrate today.
and he’s almost here.
our kid's got balls
this morning, we trekked to the radiologist to take a gander at julian via sonogram. BC, BS and i had the same technician we had several months ago when we first looked at julian and he looked mostly like an alien. i don’t know if she truly remembered us (it is hard to forget a smile like BC’s 😉 or simply saw on the chart that she had performed the last sonogram, but the technician was just lovely and welcomed us back.
anyway, we saw mr. man in all his glory. his head is down (for now, anyway), his butt regularly is what juts up and hurts me below the ribs, and he is grabbing one foot with one hand in my lower abdomen. his other hand is holding his chin. i imagine he is thinking and tapping his fingers (it certainly feels like he is doing that, anyway.) maybe he’s bored. then again, maybe it is some odd new version of Pilates. anyway, his tummy was full of liquid (which the tech said was good since it means he is drinking) and looked like a big round puff ball. his cheeks are chubby. we saw his scrotum, so evidently, thangs have descended (which is good.) if you could only see how my gallbladder and liver are completely smashed thanks to this dude, you would understand why i often am in pain.
baby space=big. mommy space=miniscule.
for a split second, i saw his face. i started to tear up a little. there is simply nothing like seeing your baby’s face for the first time, even if it is in utero. it kept flashing past because this guy didn’t want to stay still. i kept wishing there was a way i could get him to turn so that i could see it and stare and stare and stare, just as i did when i first saw BC’s beautiful face. selfish mommy that i am.
size-wise, he is within 5 days of his original due date (early June), so stay tuned to see when this dude arrives. (anyone wanna bet when he arrives?) and, at present, he is one ounce shy of 6 pounds. considering they put on nearly a pound a week at this stage of the game, i may be in for about a 9 pounder.
in a word, ouch.
oh no, she's been to giant again
just got back from Giant again, my favorite food store. (actually, fresh fields is my favorite, but they are more expensive.) i am having even more trouble pushing the cart now that i am 36 weeks along. and sure enough, as i left the store, huffing and puffing, there was my “old” friend julian and his smile and stutter.
“mmmmmmmmmmmmmay i help you?”
you know it! i think my days of lifting 200 oz bottles of Tide are over.
anyway, as we walked to the car, i did the unthinkable. “your name is julian. you know, the baby i am having is also going to be named julian.”
“really?”
“yes. i think it is just a wonderful name.”
shy smile.
sometimes, i can’t help myself.
and when my husband gets home, he can take the 200 oz bottle out of the car.
…and thousands cheered
well, just came back from the midwife. my OB now has two midwives on staff, so lucky me, i get to meet them both at one point or another in case one of them ends up holding the catcher’s mitt on The Big Day. she is concerned that i am still having shortness of breath, though it is most likely due to the fact that i am, oh, er, i dunno, PREGNANT. so anyway, i get to visit my primary care next week so that we can laugh about it.
also, in about 2 weeks, i get to go for my 36 week sonogram. little flipper right now seems like he is in breech position, which would really, really suck. however, i am not too concerned yet, as he has plenty of time to flip around in there before people start getting nervous. if he still remains breech, i get to go into the hospital and have something called an aversion done. i’ll let our friends at disney explain this one. she asked, how big was your other baby?
i told her, 6 pounds, 9 ounces.
and then, the immortal quote.
“this ain’t no 6 pound baby, lady.”
i can barely contain my joy.
signs from G-d
you all can think i am weird. i really could care less. cos i had an epiphany, or a sign from G-d, or whatever you want to call it.
there’s a name that has been the front-runner for this baby boy of mine. i haven’t mentioned it much to many people. but i always wonder – is it too unusual, or too weird? will he be stigmatized? will he loathe his father and me for giving him this name?
anyway, today, i was at El Gigante (Giant), the supermarket. i seem to spend plenty of time there. anyhow, i hadn’t actually been there in weeks, so i had a pretty huge cartload of stuff… and heavy stuff, to boot. the constant picking up and putting down and stooping led me to have some massive contractions. in short, i was not a happy person. the cart was incredibly full and heavy; and as i walked out into the rainy parking lot, all i could do was sigh and think about how wonderful it was going to be to lift all of that stuff into, and then out of, my trunk. i wasn’t even looking for help, i was so downhearted.
a young man who works at Giant walked over to me. he is one of those guys who collects carts from the parking lot and helps people load purchases into their cars. i am not sure whether he has any other challenges, but he has an intense stutter. he gave me a smile and said, “mmmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmm mmmm’am?”
i looked up. “yes?”
“mmm mmm mm mmm mm mm..”
i fought the urge to finish his sentence. i thought that would be rude and demeaning. so i stood there for a few seconds in the rain.
he continued. “mmay i help you?”
“i would be delighted if you could,” i responded.
and he took my cart, pushed it to my car, and loaded my trunk. he wouldn’t let me bend to the bottom of the cart to get the heavy stuff, either. “no, maam, please lllet me do it.”
i know it sounds like nothing, but i really, really appreciated the help. it came at a perfect time, like someone upstairs knew i really, truly needed assistance. i looked at the man’s badge to thank him.
his badge read: julian.
julian is the name we have been seriously contemplating as the name for our boy for months.
i think Someone is trying to tell me something 🙂