FAMILY – Page 44 – Wrekehavoc.com

Category: FAMILY

i'm a homosapien, too. yeah.

Posted on December 13, 2006 by wrekehavoc

so missus is practising her dance routine she’s choreographed herself for Brownies tomorrow. she can’t decide whether she’ll dance to “mickey” or “kids in america,” both of which are fortunately on a rhino compilation CD i have in my happy possession. we’re having a lot of fun, especially since we started dancing to “i love a man in a uniform.” but she just changed the CD over to “homosapien.”

mama, she asked, what’s a homosapien? now, i can answer this question in a scientific way with perfect validity. why, it could start up a conversation about science, about evolution, about all things lofty and good. but i don’t think that is at all what pete shelley had in mind.

but that’s ok. only a few songs above it is something even better. i dodged a super-duper sized bullet when she asked “mama, what’s a sex dwarf?”

“uhm, that song sucks, honey,” i replied. “let’s listen to kids in america again, k?”

yep. if you’re still counting, i am one step closer to bad parent hell.

comic relief

Posted on December 12, 2006 by wrekehavoc

there’s no need for people to get completely bummed out just because i am having a sulk about my health (or current lack thereof). DH has created a LALA radio station that plays some of the things our kids like to hear. give it a listen and enjoy some selections that Barney would probably not sing.

comic relief

Posted on December 12, 2006 by wrekehavoc

if the wizard of oz is listening, i would like a brain, too, please.

Posted on December 1, 2006 by wrekehavoc

in one of the biggest blunders of the new month, i absentmindedly ordered something HUGE for DH for Christmas and then forwarded the receipt to his email address.

i need some sleep.

slurpees gone wild

Posted on November 29, 2006 by wrekehavoc

for those of you who can manage to scroll back all the way to nov. 21st (you can DO it!), you might recall that i promised mr. jools a slurpee should he keep his pants dry and clean all day. ok, so he had a slight mishap on thanksgiving day; otherwise, he has been a superchamp. so today, after school, we piled into the car, and the three of us had a slurpee party. nevermind we all had coke (ok, i had diet pepsi, which i secretly loathe but which was the only thing edible that fit in with my new food regime) slurpees, and as newly-caffeinated citizens, we will all be up until 3am tonight.

we brought aforementioned slurpees home in time to watch the humungus leaf sucker truck (as it is known in these parts) eat up the leaves in the street. jools at first was afraid the giant hose would suck him up, too. BC, meanwhile, wanted to get as close as possible to the hose to see inside it, making me very nervous. (it’s always feast or famine, huh.) and we sat and watched them as they slowly moved down our sleep. after our leaves were sucked up, we had the good fortune of seeing the men take the truck apart, as the truck broke down — someone put a plastic bag in the pile, which felled the giant machine.

in these parts, that makes for good theater. sadly, we had to break up the fun because it was time to pick up DH at the metro. but we had us some good fun, we did.

…and for you holiday gift givers with little children

Posted on November 26, 2006 by wrekehavoc

i got crazy one day and created some t-shirts. you can check them out on my zazzle page.

nothin’ fancy, of course.

wishing and hoping and praying

Posted on November 25, 2006 by wrekehavoc

ya know, i have been trying my best to write something each day in order to keep up with NaBloPoMo, but i’m so exhausted from our day at the National Zoo that i thought instead, i would share with you all my wish list. see, we didn’t do much in the gift-giving department once we got older in my family (we don’t wait until a holiday to give stuff to each other), but my BS has raised it to a fine art. in the desire to help him out, i created a wishlist on amazon. is it complete? hell no. but it’s a start.

of course, if anyone out there wants to buy me socks, have at it 😉

my hero

Posted on November 24, 2006 by wrekehavoc

perhaps it is a sign of the apocolypse.

today, i spent the better part of my life cleaning out BC’s room and washing the wood floor in her future room (AKA our former office, which is currently residing in my living room.) it is, hands down, the dustiest place on planet earth. BC will probably require claritin, administered by IV, once i’m through with the place. she has apparently inherited the worst of both my packrat and BS’s packrat tendencies. i mean, the girl has a bottle cap collection. i ask you.

anyway, when hellboy took a nap, BS settled down for a nap, too. i mostly kept on going, though (i finally stopped for a bit toward the end. my lungs can hardly stand it, y’know.) so first, when everyone awoke around 3, BS took both kids outside to play with these obnoxious balloons that make a loud siren sound as they land on your neighbor’s tree or your own roof (both true, apparently). the kids loved it. then, when BC’s pal lia called for a play date at 4, he said he would not only take her there, but he would take hellboy with him to the barber for a haircut. hellboy may end up with no hair after this barber visit and may curse me for years to come, but i am getting a break. a b r e a k, i tell you.

so i’m thinking the world is probably going to end sometime soon, as this sort of thing seldom happens. in the meantime, though, BS is my hero.

give him his props, as those hep cats would say.

i want candy

Posted on November 21, 2006 by wrekehavoc

so, in a move that will guarantee me a spot in mommy hell, i told jools that if he kept his pants dry all day long, he could choose a piece of candy from his halloween stash. until he kept his pants dry all day long, though, he wasn’t have any sweets. i’ll be damned. the boy kept his pants dry. all day. even went potty voluntarily several times.

yep. my kids are motivated by sugar.

struggling

Posted on November 20, 2006 by wrekehavoc

the day started out ok. jools had blood in his ear, so we dropped BC off at school, then he and i went to safeway to shop until it was time to go to the doctor’s. we lovelovelove our pediatrician, so much so that BC was jealous because she wanted to see dr. j. anyway, dr. j didn’t see any infection in his ear and figured that perhaps jools had somehow scratched it up inside. so off we went, stickers in hand, ready to go to the big thanksgiving shindig at jools’ school.

at lunch, my face swelled up again. BS, in a moment of sheer kindness, left work and came to jools’ school to take my place with jools at his feast while i went home to put my head on the heating pad. when i returned to pick everyone up, jools had once again pooped in his pants and was in a different pair of pants. he always tells me he is too busy to go to the potty. at home, he pooped in his pants again. later, he peed. he asked to wear a pullup. reluctantly, i agreed.

i finally told him that he is acting like a baby, and babies don’t eat candy (which he asks for constantly since halloween happened), so until he keeps his pants dry and clean every day, he can’t have candy. something in my gut tells me this is really a bad idea, but i don’t know what else to do. he *knows* that he’s doing this; he’s been able to do this before. i told him that we can’t go fun places either, like the zoo, until he keeps his pants dry. but i don’t think he cares. and everyone else in the family ends up being penalized because of this. BS is about to go spare. BC is pissed off, too. and we can’t plan any vacation if he’s going to be pooping all over.

i’m really struggling with this.