now that i am pregnant, i am washing my hands about 50 zillion times a day. am i becoming a disciple of cleanliness-freak howard hughes? not exactly. but when you are pregnant, getting sick really, truly sucks. you cannot take medicine for the most part unless you are deathly. mostly, you can only take tylenol, which doesn't do squat for the common cold or much else. so despite the fact that everyone in this house (myself included) has had a nasty cough for about a week, i persevere in thinking that i can prevent much else.

indulge me in my delusion.

make dubya sound intelligent.

i was feeling putrid on saturday, so BS took BC to montgomery mall. they went to see “Bob the Vid Tech” (or Bob the Bid Tech as BC calls him), a kids' personality from Maryland Public TV. BC thinks he's cool.

so what i'm told: Bob came and met the kids hanging out before the show – including BC, who was thrilled. she got his autograph. (my kid: a groupie in training.) then during the show, they needed volunteers, and apparently, BC's hand shot up and she was picked. she went up on stage and was told that she had to guard Bob's “money” from his evil twin, Biff. if Biff tried to get the money, BC was told she had to scream. apparently, there was another kid who had the same instructions. the other kid didn't say boo, didn't move. but my kid? she screamed!!!!

my little starlet. she keeps asking me how she can get on Zoom. in short, i am afraid.

Still
Alanis Morrisette
(from the movie Dogma)

I am the harm which you inflict.
I am your brilliance and frustration.
I'm the nuclear bombs if they're to hit.
I am your immaturity and your indignance.
I am your misfits and your praised.
I am your doubt and your conviction.
I am your charity and your rape.
I am your grasping and expectation.

I see you averting your glances.
I see you cheering on the war.
I see you ignoring your children,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.

I am your joy and your regret.
I am your fury and your elation.
I am your yearning and your sweat.
I am your faithless and your religion.

I see you altering history.
I see you abusing the land.
I see you, your selective amnesia,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.

Haaaaaaaaahh
I see you averting your glimpses.
I see you cheering on the war.
I see you ignoring your children,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.
I see you altering history.
I see you abusing the land.
I see you, your selective amnesia,
I love you still.
And I love you still.

I am your tragedy and your fortune.
I am your crisis and delight.
I am your profits and your prophets.
I am your art, I am your vice.
I am your death and your decisions.
I am your passion and your plight.
I am your sickness and convalescence.
I am your weapons and your light.

I see you holding your grudges.
I see you gunning them down.
I see you silencing your sisters,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.
I see you lie to your country.
I see you forcing them out.
I see you blaming each other,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.

Haaaaaaaahh
I see you holding your grudges.
I see you gunning them down.
I see you silencing your sisters,
I love you still.
I love you still.
I see you lie to your country.
I see you forcing them out.
I see you blaming each other.
I love you still.
I love you still.

i have been really ill for a few weeks now, and today i am feeling a little bit better.

or perhaps i am becoming delusional. for some reason, i put on a disco CD my brother made me, and i would like to say that the riff on “staying alive,” a song i never really liked for 20 or so years, is really amazing. i really like it.

maybe i should go back to bed and quit while i am ahead.

halloween has come and gone, and boy, am i glad. it was a great day, to be sure. i went to BC's school, where i helped out all morning with her class, got little people into their halloween costumes, and then walked around during the halloween parade around the building. her teacher was out, and while the sub is perfectly capable, there are little things i know – cos i know most of these kids now for, uh, let's say most of their natural born lives – and i think i helped a little. like when inconsolable leah cried for her mommy, i showed her my pooh bear watch and she smiled and was persuaded to join us playing in the housekeeping section of the room. (you see, i know from waay back that she and i share a love of winnie the pooh.) or when maddie cried because her mommy couldn't come to the parade, she took my hand and walked with me and BC (she's probably BC's very best friend, so she is pretty comfortable with me) and things were ok. i was exceptionally proud of BC. maddie was crying because she didn't have a magic wand. i asked BC, “honey, do you think you could share your magic wand with maddie for a little while?” and without any incident, without another word, BC gave maddie her magic wand. suddenly, all was right with the world.

i am so lucky i can take time like this and experience these things.

meanwhile, BS took time out of work and joined us for the halloween parade. he is such a good dad. we had a funny time, too. back at school, they put on what they thought was a halloween mix, and the kids started to boogie. or, should i say, BC began to shake a tailfeather and some of her friends followed suit. the funniest moment i will ever know is when “soul man” came on (and why is that halloween material? someone let me know) and BC literally danced like dan akroyd and john belushi, doing that goofy running thing. (i did not coach her to do that.) then, when “woolly bully” came on, i told her to put her fingers on either side of her head like sean pean in “fast times at ridgemont high,” and awwwwwaaaay she went. it was hilarious.

this wiped me out.

then, we had to walk around the cul de sac to get our halloween booty. BC was wonderful. she said “trick or treat,” she said “thank you,” she said “happy halloween.” i am so amazed at how poised and well-mannered she can be. of course, she told every single neighbor in our cul de sac that she is going to be a big sister.

THAT made for interesting neighborly chatter.

with thanks to scally…

what, indeed, happens when an English phrase is translated (by computer) back and forth between 5 different languages? here's where you can find out.

just returned from a stint at a local laundromat. my washer/dryer just ain't a'big enough for my comforter; and since it had been probably around a year since the damn thing had been washed, i thought it high time to make my way there. i had avoided going to the laundromat for weeks since i didn't want to be a target for the sniper duo; but i thought today the coast was clear, and i ventured out.

this time, i went to the laundromat in Westover. usually, i go to la lavanderia where i am literally the only english-speaking person in the place. not a big deal as long as i know what i am doing and don't require any assistance. mi espanol no es bueno y'know, despite 3 semesters of spanish and two years of life in miami being mistaken as someone who actually was a native speaker. (and don't ask me about my famous Zayres flea bomb/por matar los insectos tale or you will cough up a lung.)

anyway, only two guys total at the laundromat today. one guy who, i am quite sure, thought i was a psycho (lord help me, i opened the door of the oh-mi-gawd-sized washer to put in some late soap and some water spilled out, and suddenly, i am branded as the bad girl of the laundry) because of my lack of ept when it comes to industrial-sized machines; and one guy who basically looked like bootsy collins meets eldridge cleaver. (you had to see the knee-high, lace-up boots.) i read my library book about The Mitfords (and talk about a dotty family – whew, those sisters were strange agents!) and just tried to bide my time.

a thousand quarters later, i am so very glad i finally got off my ass. clean comforters are good comforters. and i think i am going to curl up with mine now.

BC loves Grammar Rock and History Rock. but right now, she loves to sing “Busy Propositions, always on the march.” oh, what a difference a letter makes.

this just in: Dog shoots owner