cranky jools, who stayed up until 9pm last night, was snapping out of his sleepy snit. he jumped into my lap on the couch.
mama, he said, am i too big for your lap?
no honey, i replied. you’ll never be too big for my lap.
even when i grow up and i am bigger than you?
if you want to sit in my lap then, you can still sit in my lap.
he pauses, thinks for a moment. then he continues.
mama, when i am bigger than you, will you die?
i hate moments like this. before i was diagnosed, i used to confidently blurt out, only when you’re very, very old. now, of course, i’m not so sure. i guess no one can be sure. but somehow, i am less sure than before. though ever more determined.
only when you’re very, very old, i reply.
i hope i’m convincing.
Sorry, I don’t know what diagnosis you refer to. I certainly hope all is well with you now.
sorry about that. i forget some folks are new around here. i’ve written about it a bit in the blog. i have been diagnosed with CVID, a genetically-inclined situation that essentially means that my immune system is not up to par. i have to sit for 5 hours every 4 weeks, hooked up to some gammaglobulin (IVIG) goodness for the rest of my life. starting this year.
Oh wreke, you’re gonna live to be a cranky old fart, picking out punk-rock designed Depends, confusing your dentures with your husband’s, and running over the toes of your great-grandkids with your turbo-powered scooter.
punk rock depends. heheheheheh. i guess safety pins ARE a good idea for those, huh.
everytime i start feeling sorry for myself, i am going to think about those things.
that, plus the fact that i already told BS that i’m going to be the bane of his existence for a long, long time.
but of course, there are moments…
Oh wow. Sorry to hear about that. Good luck with the treatments – and I am sure you are mighty glad there ARE treatments! No doubt you will be the bane of BS’ existence for quite a long time.
Oh Jules. Oh Wreke. 🙁
(quietly)
sniff. snuffle.
and long may you kvetch about your IVIG treatments.
one of the nicest things ever said to me 🙂 thanks, cyn, and thanks everyone.
i look forward to being a royal pain in the ass for many, many years to come. G-d bless Blue Cross/Blue Shield 😉
wow. I wish you a very very long life and cynematic put it the best. I too have a disease that will be with me for the rest of my life so I can totally relate. Although my Crohn’s disease is mild at the moment, it could flair up at any time and I try never to think about that.
I’ll just keep using your replies! Thanks!