move over, nostradamus.

zany nebraskan duo denny zager and rick evans’  in the year 2525 hit number one on the US charts the week of the first manned moon landing. it’s ironic, really, as this song warns of the evils of technology and how it will ultimately doom the human race. (bet they were the life of the party.their next song, a happy-go-lucky ditty which didn’t get far in the US but was a hit in the UK, involved a rapist nailing himself to his prison wall.) i marvel at how young americans thrilled to hear that nasally voice of death as it warned of the evils that would befall us every thousand years, and only apparently in years that ended in 525.

this song always reminded me of a part of the passover seder where we sing about each and every freaking plague that happened before pharoah let moses takes the jews out of egypt. you drop wine on your plate (or, if you are a slob like me, on the edge of your white blouse’s sleeve, never to come out in the wash.) i imagine in this version, though, zager and evans taking a big hit off a giant spleef after each verse.

In the year 4545
Ain’t gonna need your teeth, won’t need your eyes
You won’t find a thing to chew
Nobody’s gonna look at you

zager: hey man, that’s a good one. hey! let’s write a few about G-d. only the G-d lines have to happen in years that end in 10. like, say:

In the year 7510
If G-d’s a-comin’ he ought to make it by then
Maybe he’ll look around himself and say
Guess it’s time for the Judgement day

evans: far out, man. faaar out. don’t bogart that joint.

i’m struggling to envision groovy guys and girls boogying to this song about the end of the world.

a far better choice would come later with this:

hell, if the end of the world comes, let it come with a bang, not a relentless, whiny whimper.

(and let us all say amen birthday party cheesecake jellybean BOOM! right?)

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you are welcome to take issue with my selections in the comments. (some people are still taking issue with what i wrote over 5 years ago about the song wildfire… on my old blog. and wow, who knew those fans would be so nasty!) also, if you have nominees for songs you loathe (and which i’ve not written about already), feel free to share.

i take requests.