which is worse: the song or a thong?

it’s a tough call. hearing someone sing thong tha tha tha thong is awful enough and is grounds alone for getting sisqo laughed off the face of the earth. but let’s break down this ode to underwear.

there is nothing wonderful about wearing a thong, and anyone who tells you they are comfortable has no nerve endings in her nether regions. sure, you end up with no VPL (visible panty lines), but there is a reason why these torture devices are called butt floss. 

there’s something even more disturbing about the song and video. the video starts out with a little girl, presumably sisquo’s daughter, bringing a thong to him and asking him what it is. then, the song starts with this utter objectification of women.  i mean, the sum total of a woman is her ass. so hey, little girl. don’t bother going to school; just work on your posterior and then show it off.

and then, la creme de la creme of this poetry is this gem of a line:

she had dumps like a truck truck truck

wow. we are really talking a completely different type of experience here. yes, it involves an ass, but this is just gross. of course, maybe that’s why she wears a thong. after she’s hitting the clubs, maybe downing some nachos, thongs are her only hope here.

quick toilet access.

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you are welcome to take issue with my selections in the comments. (some people are still taking issue with what i wrote over 5 years ago about the song wildfire… on my old blog. and wow, who knew those fans would be so nasty!) also, if you have nominees for songs you loathe (and which i’ve not written about already), feel free to share.

i take requests.