ms. malaprop – Page 7 – Wrekehavoc.com

Category: ms. malaprop

guilty pleasure monday: from a whisper to a scream (elvis costello)

Posted on March 16, 2009 by wrekehavoc

like a finger running down a seam…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnoykhJQwNc

faked you out again, huh? in fact, i was going to feature a completely different song today… until BC started singing this song at bedtime last night. (in the fine tradition of her dad, who usually sings the glenn tilbrook part to my elvis, girlfriend started singing bits of tilbrooks’ part on the car ride home from sunday school.)

when i was growing up, the only person i knew who loved elvis costello more than i did was my friend leifer. (add also pete townshend and the jam to that list.) i mean, the dude had an altar to pete in his room in college. (perhaps he’ll confirm in the comments so you all know i’m not a liarliarpantsonfire kind of girl who hallucinated too much in college.) his lyrics (costello’s, not leifer’s) at times are incredibly pointed and cleverly invective –anyone recall this gem, for just one example:

Some of my friends sit around every evening
And they worry about the times ahead
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference
And the promise of an early bed
You either shut up or get cut up, they don’t wanna hear about it
It’s only inches on the reel-to-reel
And the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools
Tryin’ to anaesthetise the way that you feel

yep. the only thing during that period that came close, in my opinion, to costello’s brilliant songwriting was the stellar team of chris difford and glenn tilbrook of squeeze. in their early days, there was nothing finer than those two… plus i adored the hilarious keyboard player jools holland. (do any regular readers of this space know of anyone else usually referred to as jools? anyone? anyone? bueller?)

i still have fond memories of asking my mother, the original ms. malaprop, to borrow the then-latest squeeze album from my Brother The Doctor (before he was a doc and was merely my brother) during her visit to his apartment. my brother later called me up, laughing. mom asked for georgie porgy by the crush. i figured out you wanted argybargy by squeeze.

thank Dog he could translate elaineese..

anyway, when elvis costello produced squeeze’s east side story, i nearly went over the edge. (happily, of course.) squeeeee! two, two, TWO mints in one! i played tempted at least 50,000 times in a row on my little rinky-dink tape recorder every single day during the summer of 1981, smiling dementedly whenever i heard elvis break in singing his little bits and bobs. (later on, i’d lose it every time i heard him squawk no milk and sugar! in black coffee in bed.) and when i wasn’t listening to it on cassette, i was playing it on the damn piano, over and over until i suspect my parents considered having me committed. (don’t worry; i was still working on my old partridge family favorite… in secret, though. the patridges were tres uncool in the early 1980s in my set.)

so, to my delight, elvis and glenn did a little duet on elvis’ classic album, trust. is it either’s best work? hell, no. but their energy, along with the contrast in their voices, makes this song a firm favorite. (i’m not a belter, but i belt elvis’s part so loud, people probably hear me in west virginia and wonder what the hell is up in them there hollers.)

i remember it coming on one time and i started singing one part… and lo and behold, BS, a man who doesn’t sing a lot, period, suddenly burst into the tilbrook part. maybe it was an early sign of the apocalypse, but hell, it charmed me!

so hell. i’ll sing it anytime, any place, anywhere. thanks to my big, sometimes off-key mouth, the torch has been passed to a new generation. today, elvis. tomorrow, nirvana? now that BC is singing it, my musical hope for her has started to bloom anew.

take that, jonas brothers.

teach your children

Posted on March 6, 2009 by wrekehavoc

a meme sent to me from my bud kellygo.

Copy this note, ask your kid the questions and write them down exactly how they respond. Tag me back if you haven’t done this; I’d love to hear the answers.

1. What is something Mommy always says to you?

BC: I love you.
Jools: Behave.

2. What makes Mommy happy?
BC: Purple
Jools: Purple

3. What makes Mommy sad?
BC: Everything.
Jools: When one of your parents die. (GAH!)

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
BC: Say funny things.
Jools: By tickling me.

5. What was Mommy like as a child?
BC: My brother.
Jools: I dunno.

6. How old is Mommy?
BC: ** (let’s just say she got the answer correct.)
Jools: ** (let’s just say he got it right, too.)

7. How tall is Mommy?
BC: 5-2. (close!)
Jools: About I dunno.

8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do?
BC: Be with us.
Jools: Do chores.

9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?
BC: Go on Facebook.
Jools: I dunno.

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
BC: Writing a book.
Jools: Cos she wants to get a million dollars. (!)

11. What is Mommy really good at?
BC: Writing.
Jools: Wii Tennis.

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
BC: Not crying.
Jools: Wii Boxing

13. What does Mommy do for her job?
BC: What DO you do, mommy?
Jools: Clean the house.

14. What is Mommy’s favorite food?
BC: Indian food
Jools: Fake bacon.

15. What makes you proud of Mommy?
BC: That she wrote a story.
Jools: That she cleans up everything in this whole house. Sometimes.

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
BC: Minnie Mouse
Jools: Jimmy Neutron.

17. What do you and Mommy do together?
BC: Go to Six Flags.
Jools: Play.

18. How are you and Mommy the same?
BC: We have the same smile. And cheekbones.
Jools: We both like games.

19. How are you and Mommy different?
BC: We have different last names.
Jools: Cos you’re *age deleted* and i’m 5.

20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
BC: Because she says it a million times a day.
Jools: Cos she always says it.

21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go?
BC: Grandma and Grandpa’s house.
Jools: Red Hot and Blue. (a local restaurant.)

reunited

Posted on March 3, 2009 by wrekehavoc

…and it feels so weird.

i missed my high school reunions. i missed old work reunions. in short, i have missed pretty much any opportunity to reunite with people i’ve known throughout the years. you should know this is not because i am an anti-social person; the dates or times simply didn’t work for me. (well, most of them didn’t. i didn’t attend my five year high school reunion because i didn’t feel ready to face most of the people who’d be there. i needed more time and space between us.) besides: most of the people i truly enjoyed, i probably already kept in touch with, i thought (erroneously, as it would turn out.)

about six months ago, my old friend phil started up a facebook page for people who were alums of our new jersey USY region. it was like a compulsive disease for me: i’d check back every day to see whether new old friends were signing on. and every time i’d find one, i’d friend the person and we’d have a mini-reunion. apparently, i wasn’t alone; for pretty soon, phil was helping to organize a real live reunion of folks.

which brings me to last saturday. i was nervous about attending a reunion. after all, after two babies and some pretty heavy duty illnesses and medications, i am no longer looking as i did when i was 17.

wise old middlebro, veteran of many reunions (remember the old part? the dude has three years on me.), pretty much quelled my fears. wreke, he said, everyone at reunions is older, fatter, and balder. don’t stress.

so i attempted to chill.

of course, then my old buddy wah began to stress, which meant i began to stress. we figured we’d drive up together; then we wondered whether we ought to go at all. after i volunteered to provide the evening’s soundtrack, i really knew i couldn’t back out. and wah probably knew she didn’t want to back out, either (right, wah?) besides, it would be my first weekend away from my husband and my kids. EVER. so it wasn’t sitting by a pool in some exotic location; i needed a break.

so wreke and wah had our excellent adventure. in nj.

after the most peaceful ride to NJ ever (no one needing a bathroom break, no one fighting over mp3 players, no one having to throw up — is traveling without kids always this calm?), a ride including some great music on XM thanks to old DJs i haven’t heard since i was young (pat st. john playing deep tracks! wheeeee!), wah dropped me at my folks’ house and then went up to her parents’ house. i had a wonderful friday and saturday with my parents, shopping, going to lunch as an early birthday present, and just being my parents’ child for a day instead of being someone’s mom.

my friend A picked me up for the reunion. (A is smart. she knew my parents would love to talk to her — they always love talking to my friends — and so she built in an extra 15 minutes so that she could chat. all my old USY friends like to talk to my parents. i always had to drag people AWAY from my parents. hello? you’re here to see ME!) anyway, we went to our friend D’s house, where we had some yummy things to eat and drink and just had a great time. another dear friend, leifer, came over. (those of you still traumatized by my blatantly bad 70s music month may remember my friend leifer. perhaps not fondly.) i probably would have been pretty damn content to stay in D’s kitchen and just laugh and laugh and laugh. i realized then how wrong i had been about thinking that i was in touch with everyone i needed to be in touch with. how i’ve missed D! (yes, leifer, i always miss you, too. i just haven’t lost touch with you, have i?)

anyway, i knew i had music to deliver. so off i went.

many of you out in wreke-land know i am a little particular about music. i like what i like. i’m open-minded, but i am also a bit, er, what’s the word — snobby? trying to capture evocative music for a crowd that was in high school anywhere from roughly 1977 through 1994 was a little challenging, especially since i was limited to about four hours, and extra especially because there were only a few of my friends in USY (or high school, for that matter) who were listening to the music i listened to at the time. (it wasn’t until college at rutgers where i discovered others like me.) i’m sure there were those in the crowd who would clamor for michael jackson, for madonna, for debbie gibson.

for those of you, i’m sorry.

lucky for me, everyone was so busy yapping, i don’t think anyone noticed any of the songs except when paradise by the dashboard light came on. (gah, i hate that song.) suddenly, people started singing. (and yet no one sang to the smiths. go figure.) ah well. the music must have been somewhat successful; no one complained about it.

about the interpersonal aspect of the evening: i fell back into high school mode, flitting around people but never, ever having the chance to have much of a conversation with anyone. in some cases, that was okay — we will still have facebook. but in other cases, i was truly bummed. it was simply so hard to focus on any one person because i was just so overwhelmed by everything. i never thought in my wildest dreams that i would see some of these people again. and in most cases, i am so blessed that i had the chance.

and even though there were a few people i really, really wish i could talk to more (and may never get the chance), i’m delighted that there are people, like my friend Boog, who i’ve now found again — and i’ll never let her go. again.

so all in all, this reunion stuff is a mixed bag. yes, i literally saw people i haven’t seen in years. yes, middlebro was right – a lot of us are fatter or balding, and sometimes, you’d rather remember people as they were rather than as they are now. but reunions seem to me to be just the tip of the iceberg. now i want to corral a smaller subset of friends and actually converse.

i just have to make it happen.

i love you suzanne

Posted on February 12, 2009 by wrekehavoc

so today, one of my best friends from college is having a heart procedure. this girl is so dear that words are hard to find when i think about what she means to me. she is a wildly-hardworking person. she is a loyal person. she is a very, very warm-hearted person. my kids love when she treks down to visit once or twice a year, especially because she always does a huge sweep at Target and brings them all the candy and crap i deny them. (of course, there’s the good humor she displays, too — like when she ended up picking blackberries with us in the middle of nowhere and jumping on a giant inflatable… i don’t know what it was called, but it sure was hella fun.)

i’m sure she’ll be okay, but i must admit, it has struck me right between the eyes. someone else my age is mortal, too. historically, i’ve sorted my college friends into tidy mental boxes, sort of like the Beatles were when they first hit America; i’m the sick one. another girlfriend is the one who has had epic and horrific love affairs. and this one? she’s the workaholic. no one is supposed to be working my side of the street; i’ve taken on all the awful illnesses so no one else has to.

but no one can stay in their own box forever, i suppose. the one who has had bad luck with men just got married to a real keeper. and i have had moments in my career when i suppose workaholic would have been an appropriate tag (i remember sleeping at my desk once or twice about 15 years ago when i was enmeshed in the world of the burgeoning internet.) so it stands to reason that someone else could have something seriously wrong with them. fixable, thank G-d, but serious nonetheless.

anyway, i’ll be waiting til later today, when i can pester her — or her mom — and find out how she’s doing. summer’s not far off, and she needs to plan her next trek down to the southland. my kids are down to their last 6 pounds of halloween candy. and SOMEONE’S got to supply them with more Pez.

get well soon, suz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRqKPfHyXUg

month of 70’s gpms: thank you for being a friend (andrew gold)

Posted on January 30, 2009September 6, 2014 by wrekehavoc

faked you out, huh? bet you thought my last day of guilty pleasure mondays month – the 1970’s hits edition – would be something by the fab four, right?

you’d be half right. in a manner of speaking, of course.

okay, okay. this is a lame homemade video by Dog Knows Who. but i wanted to share the song, which was eventually co-opted by the folks who brought you that uproarious sitcom about happy ladies of a certain age.

(…and how better to complete a month of guilty pleasure mondays that could get me laughed at.)

i love this song, okay? andrew gold — son of marni nixon, whose voice is the one you hear coming out of natalie wood’s mouth in the screen version of west side story as well as audrey hepburn’s in my fair lady and deborah kerr’s in the king and i — has done it all in the music industry. he enjoyed a lot of success on his own as well as in his collaborations with people like linda rondstadt and another completely unsung but magnificent voice known as karla bonoff to name only two.

not sure which was a bigger hit — thank you for being a friend or lonely boy — but i loved them both. they both have solid hooks, though TYFBAF is not exactly a rockin’ song. still, the sentiment is sweet. i always thought andrew gold should have come out with his stuff about four years earlier; i suspect that mellow california sound he made that was so popular in the mid 1970s kind of got mauled by new wave and punk.

but i appreciate it nonetheless, with or without a septaganarian.

———————————————–

and so there you have it: a whole month of songs that might get me ridiculed in certain circles. thank you all for being tolerant of my little meander into self-indulgence. i suspect i will come back with my usual GPM feature — maybe not this monday since i’ve od’d a bit on them, but soon.

in the meantime, i miss writing about my kids. i’m their mom; it’s my sworn duty to embarrass them as much as humanly possible. i’ll get back to that soon, i’m sure.

but in the meantime, always remember: if you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say:

my birthday’s in march.

don’t you forget it 😉

xoxo,

wreke

month of 70’s GPM: take the long way home (supertramp)

Posted on January 21, 2009September 6, 2014 by wrekehavoc

it was a tough choice. but i know i’m bloody well right.

take the long way home would be a great song in and of itself. listening to it, however, makes me feel a bit maudlin. i always think about a murder that took place in my hometown in the ’80s. a fine upstanding member of the community, rob marshall, apparently killed his wife maria via contract to collect on an insurance policy. the evidence showed that he had been having an affair and apparently wanted to live happily and wealthily without mrs. marshall.

i still get shivers when i drive past the area where his set-up murder scenario went down. i also can barely look at the hotel where the alleged trysts took place. ick. so. very. sordid. and. awful. mr. marshall is currently eligible for parole in 2014.

anyway, the case became a book which, in turn, became an emmy nominated movie.

so what on earth does this have to do with take the long way home? apparently, maria marshall loved that song, and there’s a dramatic moment in the movie where her eldest son roby figures out that his dad offed his mom, thanks to the song. i never knew maria marshall (though if gossip be true, i knew who the paramour was), but whenever i hear this song, i think sadly of a bunch of boys whose dad was insane enough to kill their mom.

(incidentally, joanna kerns, who played maria in the movie, ended up introducing roby marshall to her growing pains co-star, tracey gold, who later married marshall. cue weird music here.)

anyway, guess i’ve shared not a lot about supertramp, a fabulous british prog-rock import with a roster of songs to make any band green with envy: dreamer (which plays in my head whenever i think of a pal of mine); the logical song; and probably the song that comes neck-and-neck with take the long way home for a place in my heart, give a little bit, which ends up being borrowed for a lot of charitable causes. (i cannot stand the cover of the latter done by the goo goo dolls, even if it was for a relief effort. the band messed up the words, for starters…)

various attempts of the band to get back together haven’t exactly resulted in a lasting musical production. pity, as the davies and hodgson team provided a clever point-counterpoint in their work together.

month of 70's GPN: jackie blue (ozark mountain daredevils)

Posted on January 15, 2009 by wrekehavoc

drummers who can sing while they drum make me feel unworthy.

i don’t know much about the ozark mountain daredevils; in fact, i don’t think they ever had another hit after jackie blue.

no matter. jackie is a portrait of a alice in strung-out-land; a seeker of joy who never, ever seems to have the patience of finding it. the lazy slide guitar emotes some sort of druggy lethargy that pretty much clinched the song for me. everyone knows someone who, whether drugged up or not, seems to crave happiness but who is his or her own worst enemy in this department.

i just love people who ask me for advice, only to have them flout it afterwards. i mean, it’s not like i corner the market on sense, but if someone asks me what i think, i will take some time to consider things before i spout off my mouth. (well, if i care about them, lol. but seriously…) then, when they basically blow everything i said out the proverbial window, i wonder why i even bothered.

even better is when they return for MORE ADVICE. i sometimes wonder whether i ought to charge people. of course, as an amateur psychologist [read: kids, don’t try this at home], i’m really not permitted to charge a la Lucy Van Pelt. but maybe it would be a deterrent. it’d probably be better for my mental health, at any rate.

but i digress. per usual.

anyway, in sum: don’t know much about the ozark mountain daredevils. love jackie blue. and don’t ask for my advice or opinions on matters unless you are prepared to consider it.

and if you come back with more questions after ignoring what i said initially, come prepared with a nickle.

and don’t be mad when i tell you i told you so.

think

Posted on December 31, 2008 by wrekehavoc

happy new year, everyone. i present to you exhibit a: a poll. enjoy it. i know i will.

[polldaddy poll=1234381]

happy new year!

guilty pleasure monday: the helsinki complaints choir

Posted on December 15, 2008 by wrekehavoc

this one will cause neither shock nor awe for anyone who has been reading my blog for awhile.

consider the complaints choir project, started in 2005 by Finnish artists Tellervo Kalleinen and Oliver Kochta-Kalleinen. apparently, there is a phrase in finnish (not a language i’ve tackled yet, btw) Valituskuoro, which literally means complaints choir, or lots of people complaining at the same time. the two artists thought it would be a hoot to organize a real complaints choir.

the first group to take up the call was in birmingham, england (featuring immortal words like: i want my money back, my job is like a cul-de-sac, and the bus is too infrequent at 6:30.) the song is amusing but not terribly musical or moving.

the next group taking up the call was the helsinki choir. i have to tell you, i voluntarily listen to this. my kids actually like hearing this (and attempt to read the english. whenever we pass the metro on Route 66, BC likes to randomly note: tramline 3 smells of pee.)

these poor folks: they lose to sweden at hockey and Eurovision each year. metre pizza is only a half a metre long. their tights always fall down. they are plagued by people with annoying ring tones (a very clever part of the song.) and their ancestors could have chosen a warmer spot. among many, many other things.

On se niin väärin! (it’s not fair.)

many other places have started a complaints choir, but helsinki’s choir remains the very best. the lyrics balance the picayune with the poignant: my flat is tiny yet it eats up all my money. so i’m left with nothing to save the world with. the music is superior to most of the others i’ve heard, and i’ve heard most of them.

i would love to start a complaints choir, though i don’t know if anyone would be willing to participate. i suspect i’d get a lot of entries that mirror the complaints from the helsinki group, but it would be fun nonetheless to attempt this.

in my copious free time, of course.

thank you

Posted on December 12, 2008 by wrekehavoc

pet peeve alert. pet peeve alert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17-hu1E1bYg

yesterday, i had a wonderful lunch with a friend i hadn’t seen since i was a teenager. sometimes, there are people in life who you may not see for years and years, but when you do get together, it’s as if you hadn’t seen them since just last tuesday. one of the many things we discussed (besides every single person we remembered from our hometown and how i apparently tried to kill a yule log in college, which is a whole other matter) was the concept of thank you notes.

(stay with me, even though i know i am the queen of non sequitors.)

see, when i was little, my mom drummed into my head that i was responsible for writing a thank you note whenever someone gave me a present. it didn’t have to be a novel (though, as i was verbose even as a child, it often wound up as one), but just something to acknowledge the kindness of the person for thinking of me. to this day, i eventually get around to thanking people, whether by note, email, or pigeon. it’s an ingrained habit; and i also think it’s simply the right thing to do. i often get very busy, but i do make an effort to at least get the word out.

now that i have children, i am trying to do the same. sure, one doesn’t write much at the moment beyond a few sight words he has learned in kindergarten; but i do try to put the kids on the phone or at least sign their names to thank you cards i have written. i want them to understand that they are not simply entitled to things; in fact, i want them to learn that someone took the time to think of them and do something nice for them or get them a present. that person didn’t have to do anything — but he or she did. and so, it is my child’s obligation to be humble and appreciative.

or, in the words of my wonderful mother-in-law, we give gifts graciously, and we receive gifts graciously. (she and my mom went to the same mom school on this, i think.)

where am i going with this, you may ask.

i am saddened by the interactions i have had with so many younger people lately. i am saddened because i hear in their voices and in their words a sense of entitlement:

because my parents have money, i should have money, too.

because i finished college, i should immediately start out in a high-paying job with huge responsibilities.

because everyone else in the pop world seems to have clothes, bling, cars, etc., i of course am entitled to these, too, whether i’ve worked for them or not.

i smile knowingly, as i am not in any position to actually criticize people i don’t know well. but behind my smile is a mom who wants to scream.

see, i’m a left-of-center gal, so i do believe there are things people are entitled to have. things like food. shelter. safety. love. health care. rights, and a political system that respects them.

but beyond the basics, i don’t have a lot of empathy. in fact, this sense that the world owes you every material success seems to be rampant and infectious. i want my kids to understand that there are so many people in the world who don’t have the basics, let alone the latest sneakers or the hottest car. i want my kids to be as grateful as i am for all the things we have and for all that we are to each other. i can’t stand the thought that some of their friends may one day impress upon them that they are owed more than they have earned. those friends will be doing them a great disservice. those friends need to learn a thing or two about gratitude, something they don’t necessarily grasp.

and perhaps its in part because they didn’t have a mom who forced them to write thank you notes.