it's a right good thing that novacaine doesn't affect my typing abilities (which were crappy to begin with, i suppose.) i am mercury-free now, thanks to good old dr. brown, my friendly neighborhood capitalistic dentist. (wish the tuna in the ocean could say the same.) dr. brown does not believe in HMOs (he used to distribute anti-HMO bumper stickers, free-of-charge. i am not making this up.) nevertheless, after years of trying all sorts of awful northern VA HMO dentists, many of whom who saw my mouth as bonanza-ville since i had relatively few cavities (thanks to my wonderfully-conservative dentist back in Toms River), i went to dr. brown. wonder of wonders, he did a good job. after all this time, i realize that there are many things i can skimp on. teeth are not one of those things, as eating has become a somewhat important activity in my life.

i have been seeing dr. brown now for, oh, i dunno, about 7 years. he used to be in my neighborhood; but now, since i've moved, he is literally in the south-easternmost part of the county, and i am in the north-easternmost part of the county. still, its worth the trip.

so now i am numb since the good dr. removed the rest of my silver fillings and replaced them (with folgers coffee, no doubt.) dr. has been working on his MBA for a few years; and in two months, he graduates. he is interested i think in franchising dentist shops i suppose. i hope this doesn't mean he won't be around to fix my teeth. nevertheless, time marches on. so does his office. for the past few years, they have been baking otis spunkmeyer cookies in his office to make it smell more like a bakery and less like a dentist's office. so today, on my way out, i told the good dr., “eh, you give me cookies so you get my repeat business on cavities, dontcha.” he laughed. “but you should know,” i added, “that i read some journal article on how some dentists are now doing spa treatments in their offices — paraffin wax for the hands, etc. when are you going to keep up with the times, dr. brown?”

he answered: “we have it. would you like some paraffin?”

well, dip me in shit and call me stinky. i was shocked. so next thing you know it, i've got paraffin on my hands, mitts on my paraffin, feet on a foot massager, and a cup of mango chamomile tea in my hands that i struggled to drink since half of my mouth was still numb. don't get me wrong. i haven't forgotten that i just dished out $700 for mercury-removal on 4 or 5 cavities. still, my mouth looks nicer. i just wonder what the hell has been festering in those gaping holes in my teeth for, oh, 20-25 years. nasty to think about it. and now you undoubtedly will. (probably mostly chocolate, anyway.)

but the saddest point: i cannot find Celestial Seasonings mango chamomile tea anywhere. not even listed on the CS site. waah! if anyone can find it anywhere, please give me a shout. better yet, ship it to me as your good deed of the day 😉

ok, so after doing an informal mental food diary over the past few months, it appears to me that i have a peanut allergy. fortunately, it is not one of those allergies like those sad little kiddies who go into anaphalectic shock when they even get a whiff of peanuts; maybe it is more of an intolerance. i don't know. but i do know that any time i have anything peanut related, i get sick later.

now, you have no idea how serious this is. i am a person whose favorite snack since the age of 9 has been a spoon and a jar of skippy. my favorite sundae at friendly's? the reese's peanut butter cup — not those lame-ass reese's pieces, mind you, but the gooey, chocolate and peanut concoction. all gone. gone, gone gone. but so many processed foods also have peanut in them. or peanut oil. or some other peanut by-product. on the one hand, i am delighted that i am figuring this out so that i can help myself feel better. on the other hand, i am so very sad that my favorite treat has to go bye-bye.

it could be worse. i could find out that i can't have chocolate any more. ::sigh::

ok. my #@$@#$% AOL 6.0 client has just officially crashed. BS will not let me attempt to load 7.0 because it will “fuck up the network.” BS is not willing to let me see if i can find a copy of 6.0, because the last time i loaded it, it “fucked up the network.” so now i hope he has an old 5.0 disk lying about. i am a slave to the client. i know, i know. i can browse with my browser. i can IM and have a buddy list with AIM (and i used to work on that product, so you would think i would want to support it. but my hard drive is nearly full, and i can't seem to pare anything else off this puppy. argh.)

anyone got an old 6.0 disk lying about?

::sigh:: i used to be able to get those things without even trying.

so i usually pride myself on being relatively sane. but this morning, after a trip to home despot with BS and BC, i was a little cranked. we were getting ready to leave the orange-hued plaza of no return. BC was sitting in her car seat while she wore one of those mr. wizard “gee-i-wonder-what-happens-when-you-squeeze-the-juice-box” faces. and before you could scream “Xanax, please!” she did it. squish! right all over her new shirt.

most of the time, i am pretty cool about these things…but not today. i barked her name, got out of my seat, and went in the back to clean her up. i had no idea that someone was standing behind me, i was that focused (and annoyed.) BS says, “c'mon, don't wipe her up, there's someone waiting for the spot.” so, being the polite and sweet jersey girl that i am, i literally say “well they can “f” off and wait(yes, i literally said “f” – not the full word).” i had no idea that there was someone literally behind me and that BS meant that there was a person trying to get through.

i got into my seat, and there was BS, looking incredulously at me. “what, what?” i asked. i saw someone scurry behind me and get into the car beside us.

“you know, that person was right behind you.”

“oh, you meant someone was BEHIND me waiting to get in?”

“yes. and you just told her to “F” off.”

“oh. well, sorry, i did not know that.”

so classy me. setting a good example for all the world to see.

i think i have hit upon a truism. i can get the same shitty haircut for $17 that i can get for $50. and be less unhappy about it merely because i paid less for it. no matter where i go, everyone wants to give me the G-ddamned football head haircut. i bring in pictures, i talk with stylists, and still: football head hair.

at least i can pay less for it now.

boy oh boy. yesterday, it was 70 degrees out. today, there is a 14 degree wind chill. poor little BC. her class trip to the zoo was cancelled today because frozen preschoolers are just not fun. (defrosting them is hell.) so i went downtown only to turn tail and return. but not after spending a little bit of time with BC and her little buddies.

now the thing that amazes me ceaselessly is how people tell me what an independent little girl she is. how she rules the roost in the room. how people sometimes forget they are talking to a 3-year-old because she is so verbal and mature. (the maturity thing is clearly not from me, i assure you.) of course, when *i* show up at her school, i am faced with my little blonde-headed klingon. she clings to my leg, she hangs on my words, she doesn't want me out of her sight. as much as i adore such undivided adoration (and G-d knows it will probably be the only time in my adult life that i receive it), it is a bit unnerving. i love to come to school and read books with her friends and even let her pals pretend i am their patient while they stick pretend needles into my arm and wrap tourniquets just a *wee* bit too tightly on my arm. but i always feel like i am somehow disrupting her routine when i am there and that this must be a terribly selfish thing i am doing.

fortunately, one of her teachers came up to me after noticing this. she told me that all kids are like this. when mom or dad show up, the kid instantly changes. so apparently, i am not doing anything bad, disruptive, or even wrong.

yay. i can stop flagellating myself now.

i noticed that the rainforest cafe has outlets at both disneyland and disneyworld. now, imagine that…

ok. if i agree to go to the Rainforest Cafe again when i am not well-rested, then someone please, please smack me in the head. yesterday, i, or some evil twin who temporarily possessed my body, somehow agreed to take BC there after she agreed to get her picture taken by a real photographer. (and no, i won't post them here because i don't want to have some fuckwit grab the photo and do horrible things with it. if you know me and want to see the pictures, then i will very gladly share upon your request once i take the time to digitize them!) granted, it takes an act of G-d to get a three-year-old to actually listen to a photographer when there are oodles of things clamoring for her attention; but i was getting a bit annoyed when my formerly well-behaved child turned into mini-greta garbo. the photographer was no big help, either. he took forever to actually take a picture, which is a big no-no when your clients have the attention span of a hummingbird. since the photos would not be done for an hour, we went to said restaurant.

we were on the early side of the day, i might add. we were way ahead of the lunchtime crowd. however, that meant we were there just in time for some uniform-clad kiddies from some local school who apparently were having a field trip to the restaurant. now, tell me if i am off-base here, but this is a RESTAURANT. not a museum. not a zoo. not even a remotely educational establishment. sure, they have a wonderful fish tank, and they can spout off a few forgettable bits of info about the perilous state of the rainforest. but this is a BUSINESS. completely with anamatronic animals who roar and growl on a timer. its fun, i guess, but this is not the right place to be taking kids for a SCHOOL FIELD TRIP. it is like taking them to disney, for christ's sake. disney is not educational. sure, there are moments when you smile because there is a little message, such as “it's a small world.” but i have great contempt for the mighty mouse and corporation. i have always had some issues with the great homogenization of america, and establishments like disney and even the rainforest cafe add to it. people get brainwahed that these are EXPERIENCES. going to a museum is an experience. wandering in a park is an EXPERIENCE. going to rainforest cafe is a MEAL. an expensive, and not very tasty one at that. the tortilla chips that came with BC's mac and cheese (yeah, how's that for a side dish!) literally were coated with salt. and not kosher salt like on hot pretzels, either. yecch. i was not aware that french fries cost extra. the waiter merely asked me whether i wanted chips or fries with my nature burger. i wanted neither, but i picked fries since i figured my daughter might want a taste. i got to pay extra for that privilege, which was a bit irritating.

anyway, it took nearly a half hour for the workers there to get the field trippers settled. we just stood and waited. BC would not leave, so i had very little choice — and i did promise, so i couldn't just pull parental perogative and exit. argh. fortunately, they sat us under an iguana. the last time we went to rainforest cafe, we could not stay because the jaguar, which was over our heads, growled so loudly that BC was scared to death. i suppose that it is a positive that she was not scared any more. in fact, she continually peppered the waiter with questions about the names of every animal she encountered there. “uh, yeah,” the waiter said, “uh, the toucan's name is, uh, tookie. and uh, the butterfly's name is bill.”) it was actually the highlight of the meal, as i felt like i was entitled to enjoy the little subversive nature of my child as she annoyed the waiter. that's my girl!

anyway, i imagine i will be back here sometime. BC loved it. perhaps when her dad or her grandparents come with me, i will go back. but not while it is only cranky, bad-ass me.

btw, the pictures of her turned out terrific. in spite of a bad photographer, my daughter shines 🙂

what a gloomy day it is here. i suppose we need the rain, but it is so dark. at last i have the sunny bunny, aka BC, here with me today. she is busy stripping more of her Barbies down to their altogethers. i bought her a Barbie boat at a rummage sale this weekend, and she has piled all of her naked Barbies AND her Fisher Price Little People in the boat. like an old commercial we used to watch up in NJ when i was little would say, “Henny Hennman says, 'Everybody in the POOL!'” it looks like a wild Fire Island weekend is taking place between the boat and the Little People house. naked Barbies, Ken, and all these Little People (who look a bit like dwarves in comparison to the amazon Barbies), all hanging about. all we need are little pink drinks with umbrellas in them and we are all set. woowee!

who said this was a gloomy day 🙂

i can't believe that andrea yates was formally sentenced to life in prison for drowning her 5 children, “…a verdict that jury members said was easy to reach.” what IS it with texan justice? i cannot imagine this verdict resulting anywhere on the east or west coasts. maybe some of my friends from texas (who are extremely reasonable and intelligent people in my book) can explain to me what happened here. i mean, yes, she drowned her children. but this woman is clearly mentally ill. doesn't anyone on the jury have any idea what it is like to be mentally ill? do they understand that yates was continually in some sort of treatment until the system completely failed her? i don't know which is more delusional – andrea yates or the justice system in texas. to put this woman behind bars for the next 40 years is doing no one any good. except, perhaps, randy yates.

this woman clearly had a huge burden placed on her by her controlling, bible-thumping husband, randy. from what i have read, it doesn't seem to me that he helped her out much. i cannot imagine what it must be like to homeschool and care for 5 children. i cannot imagine what it is like to ride through the country in a winnebago, following G-d's alleged will. but i can imagine what it is like to look after one child, and believe me, it is no cakewalk. to carry the responsibility for 5 children on your own is something i would never wish on any individual. i wonder if her husband sees any change in his lifestyle now with his wife and children gone, other than there is more money in his pocket and he is in demand on the talk-show circuit. something is so very, very wrong here.